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Dont ask if you dont want the answer
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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tracker
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:10 pm    Post subject: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Ouch! this is cold, even if you are drunk!



WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>I was shopping at the local supermarket where I
>>>>selected:
>>>>
>>>>A half-gallon of 2% milk,
>>>>
>>>>A carton of eggs,
>>>>
>>>>A quart of orange juice,
>>>>
>>>>A head of romaine lettuce,
>>>>
>>>>A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
>>>>
>>>>A 1 lb. package of bacon.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>As I was unloading my items on the conveyor
belt
>>>>
>>>>to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as
>>>>
>>>>I placed the items in front of the cashier.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>While the cashier was ringing up the purchases,
>>>>
>>>>the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since
>>>>I
>>>>
>>>>was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the
>>>>
>>>>belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
>>>>
>>>>selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
>>>>
>>>>my marital
status.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well,
>>>>
>>>>you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on
>>>>
>>>>earth did you know that?"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:40 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

ROFL Excellent ROFL LMAO
Joe

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ElyBoy
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Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 1541
Location: Forest Lake Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy
Explains why I was single for the first 35yrs of my life.

Eric

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10297
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:09 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Ooh?? You got better lookin' with age???

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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ElyBoy
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Joined: Apr 04, 2006
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Location: Forest Lake Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:09 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Naw Bushy,
I think that the women got harder seeing. Laughing

Eric

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:03 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

It could be that as they (the women) got older they saw their chances dwindling too...As I was taught in the Navy..."When a storm that looks like it will get worse any port will do"...Or shorten version "In a storm, any port will do"...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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ElyBoy
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Joined: Apr 04, 2006
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Location: Forest Lake Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:02 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

My wife is 10yrs younger that me Bushy. She was 24 when we met.
She was a city girl, and I think that the looks and the attitude of one hell of a woodsman was too much for her to turn down.
Just my take on it. Ya just can't compare a city clown to a REAL MAN, if you know what I mean. The swagger and independence was just plain too much for her to resist.

Hug

Eric Very Happy

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

And you probably had a job too. Nice huh...My wife is 13 years younger then me. The only way they can keep up with us woodsmen. I still have a little of that Sailor swagger left to go with the outdoorsman's swagger...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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ElyBoy
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Joined: Apr 04, 2006
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Location: Forest Lake Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

My wife calls my attitude a stinking Iron Range Ely attitude. Which means that I think that anybody from the city is an idiot follower.
I do tend to profile people who don't have a NASCAR or NRA sticker on their PICKUP TRUCK, and have city auto dealer stickers on their units instead.
Your wife probably says the same to you, but in a different way.

Eric

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Quite big age differences there. Smile

Dimitri

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tikkat3
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Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 696

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 2:14 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

ElyBoy and Bushmaster,
May West once said that "a hard man is good to find"
Your wives may have agreed.
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roklok
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Joined: Aug 11, 2005
Posts: 607
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Big age differences? Really? When my sister and her husband of 10 years met she was 17 and he was 54. They are still happily married and have a 6 year old daughter.
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:29 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

roklok,

That isn't a big age difference thats a HUGE age difference. Shocked

Glad its working out for them though, thats what matters if its working, not age (to a point for example if a guy my age went after a girl as large as the age differences mentioned here that is so wrong its not even funny :x) and nobody else's opinions as you'll end up living the life they wanted to live or the life they think is best when you know what it isn't. Smile

Don't get me started on the dating people give me though, most of them have bad relationships or are divorced and they still insist I fallow their advice. wtf

Dimitri

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10297
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:45 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

Really roklok...You say they are from Tennessee or Arkinsas? That's cuttin' it pretty close...

But was she his foster daughter as mine was when she was 17...?? I married my x-wife's cousin when she was 26 (foster daughter at 17) and I was 39. My x-mother-in-law and my present mother-in-law are sisters.

Hell...I fit right in here in Missouri.

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:55 am    Post subject: Re: Dont ask if you dont want the answer Reply with quote

There's about the same age difference between you and your wife Bushy as there is between me and mine. Smile

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'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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