Camilla bought new shoes for her wedding, which got increasingly tighter around her feet as the day went on.
That night, when the festivities were finally over and they finally retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are absolutely killing me!"
(Its her head that knocks me around - Vince)
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales worked on her right shoe with
vigour, but it would not budge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder!"
Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, my darling! But it's just so blooming tight!"
Come on, my prince! Give it all you've got!" she cried.
Finally, when the shoe released, Charles let out a loud groan and Camilla
exclaimed, "Aaahh! Oh, God, that feels sooo good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I
told you with a face like that, she would still be a virgin!"
(I always said that Camilla has a face like a smashed crab....or is that too unkind. Vince)
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, bloody hell, darling! This one's even tighter!"
To which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"