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Are you a Liberal, Conservative, or an Albertan?
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Grant
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 28, 2006
Posts: 323
Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:39 am    Post subject: Are you a Liberal, Conservative, or an Albertan? Reply with quote

Are you a Liberal, a Conservative, or an Albertan? (Insert Texan for those south ot the boarder)



Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:



You're walking down a deserted street with your wife

and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife

comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,

screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the

knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock

cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere

seconds before he reaches you and your family. What

do you do?

..............................................................



THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN














Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire

him to attack?



Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock

the knife out of his hand?


What does the law say

about this situation?



Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind

of message does this send to society and to my children?




Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be

content just to wound me?




If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my

family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and

make this happier, healthier street that would

discourage such behavior.



This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with

some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


...........................................................



Conservative's Answer:


BANG!





Albertan's Answer:



BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the

Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

_________________
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli more fun to shoot!

If guns kill people, does that mean I can blame misspelled words on my pencil?
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:57 am    Post subject: Re: Are you a Liberal, Conservative, or an Albertan? Reply with quote

This is funny everytime I read it no matter who is invovled, Liberals/Democrats, Conservatives/Republicans, Rednecks/Albertas. Haha

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13634
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:53 am    Post subject: Re: Are you a Liberal, Conservative, or an Albertan? Reply with quote

I'm not sure where I fit into this. Initially I thought...Conservative......then after reading further I thought, nah, definitely Albertan (whatever that/he is)....then I wondered, what comes after Albertan......was two magazines sufficient to send the appropriate message.....nah......more sounds of reloading....BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

gee, that sounds like someone reloading a pistol.....BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click....damn....empty

hey sweetheart....you got those emergency magazines with you.....sorry, silly question...cause ya do. Very Happy Very Happy throw 'em over here honey....all of them.
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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SwampFox
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:53 am    Post subject: Re: Are you a Liberal, Conservative, or an Albertan? Reply with quote

I am with Vince, those Albertans talk to much and much to quick. We southern folks talk real slow and reload, reload, etc., quick
Ed

_________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
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