HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 329
BOT: 2
Total: 331
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Home
05: Your Account
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Photo Albums
09: Photo Albums
10: Forums
11: Your Account
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Forums
24: Photo Albums
25: Photo Albums
26: Photo Albums
27: Forums
28: Your Account
29: Forums
30: Home
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Photo Albums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Your Account
39: Photo Albums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Your Account
45: Home
46: Photo Albums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Home
52: Your Account
53: Forums
54: Your Account
55: Your Account
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Photo Albums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Your Account
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Photo Albums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Your Account
71: Photo Albums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Photo Albums
75: Forums
76: Photo Albums
77: Home
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Your Account
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Your Account
85: Your Account
86: Your Account
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Photo Albums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Your Account
96: Photo Albums
97: Your Account
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Your Account
103: Photo Albums
104: Your Account
105: Your Account
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Your Account
111: Forums
112: Home
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Your Account
116: Forums
117: Your Account
118: Forums
119: News
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Your Account
123: Photo Albums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Your Account
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Home
130: Home
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Home
135: Forums
136: Your Account
137: Your Account
138: Your Account
139: Your Account
140: Forums
141: Statistics
142: Home
143: Home
144: Your Account
145: Your Account
146: Your Account
147: Forums
148: Home
149: Your Account
150: Photo Albums
151: Forums
152: Home
153: Forums
154: Home
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Home
159: Your Account
160: Forums
161: Home
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Photo Albums
165: Forums
166: Your Account
167: Photo Albums
168: Home
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Your Account
172: Forums
173: Home
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Home
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Your Account
180: Forums
181: Your Account
182: Home
183: Home
184: Photo Albums
185: Forums
186: Forums
187: Forums
188: Forums
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Photo Albums
194: Photo Albums
195: Statistics
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Your Account
199: Forums
200: Forums
201: Your Account
202: Forums
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Home
207: Photo Albums
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Home
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Home
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: Home
219: Forums
220: Home
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Your Account
225: Forums
226: Forums
227: Forums
228: Statistics
229: Forums
230: Forums
231: Forums
232: Your Account
233: Forums
234: Forums
235: Forums
236: Your Account
237: Home
238: Forums
239: Photo Albums
240: Forums
241: Your Account
242: Forums
243: Forums
244: Your Account
245: Forums
246: Home
247: Forums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Forums
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Your Account
254: Forums
255: Forums
256: Your Account
257: Forums
258: Your Account
259: Forums
260: Forums
261: Home
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Forums
266: Forums
267: Photo Albums
268: Your Account
269: Forums
270: Your Account
271: Forums
272: Photo Albums
273: Photo Albums
274: Photo Albums
275: Forums
276: Your Account
277: Forums
278: Forums
279: Forums
280: Forums
281: Forums
282: Home
283: Forums
284: Forums
285: Forums
286: Forums
287: Forums
288: Forums
289: Your Account
290: Forums
291: Forums
292: Photo Albums
293: Your Account
294: Your Account
295: Forums
296: Home
297: Forums
298: Your Account
299: Forums
300: Forums
301: Your Account
302: Forums
303: Forums
304: Forums
305: Forums
306: Forums
307: Forums
308: Forums
309: Forums
310: Forums
311: Your Account
312: Forums
313: Your Account
314: Forums
315: Forums
316: Forums
317: Forums
318: Home
319: Forums
320: Photo Albums
321: Forums
322: Photo Albums
323: Photo Albums
324: Forums
325: Your Account
326: Forums
327: Photo Albums
328: Forums
329: Home
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824587
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Outdoor Plants
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Shipster
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 15, 2006
Posts: 26
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:28 pm    Post subject: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

Outdoor Plants

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden
in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the
wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream!

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living
room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up,
told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in,
wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and
started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so
she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon
he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,
where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the
snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to
use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's
mouth


and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed
stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man,
smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They
were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all
happened over a little green snake.


The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor
and his sobbing wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of
the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.

He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table
fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a
fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled,
jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to
avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who
called the fire department. The firemen started raising the fire truck
ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore
out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the
telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house
fire out).

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the
house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and
all was right with their world

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

That's when he shot her.

_________________
Shipster
Relaxation Technique: deep breath in; exhale; deep breath in; exhale slowly, hold.... and squeeze.....
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:40 pm    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

Interesting ending but other then that Haha

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
4rum
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 06, 2007
Posts: 211

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

I hate when that happens Shocked
Back to top
View user's profile
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

What became of the snake?

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5946

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

The snake now under the couch eats the popcorn, chips, pretzels and drinks the beer the husband spills in the living room while watching the football game with his buddies on sunday. I'd imagine. Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:09 am    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

I'm glad things worked out so well for the snake!

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:12 am    Post subject: Re: Outdoor Plants Reply with quote

When I was in grade 2, I caught a live garter snake and left it in my teacher's desk as an expression of my gratitude to her. Shoule have seen the look on her face when she opened that drawer. I never saw anything move so fast as that poor little snake slithering out of that room. She never did thank me. Principal strapped me though, guess they figured I was the culprit by how hard I was laughing.

_________________
"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.