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Horse jerkey
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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happycamper
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Joined: Dec 14, 2006
Posts: 42

PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 10:34 pm    Post subject: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

helo do you like horse jerkey

im thinking of buying a horse and selling horse jerkey
how much jerkey would a 2500 lb horse make
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12855
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

happycamper wrote:


im thinking of buying a horse and selling horse jerkey
how much jerkey would a 2500 lb horse make

Was thinking that this is in the wrong section of the Forums......but then I read it again. Horse Jerky???? Confused Shocked A 2500lb horse ???? wtf wtf Shocked

Nope, its in the right section.....Jokes & Humor. Exclamation Exclamation
Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

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Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
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Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 9:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Well first you have to teach the horse not to be afraid of the smoke and fire, then, you gotta teach him to use a knife and slice the meat really thin, which is tough when you got hooves instead of fingers and thumbs. THen you have to figure how many hours a day the horse is willing to work at it. I don't think it much matters how much the horse weighs except you're going to have to figure it'll cost you more to keep a 2500 pound horse in feed than a lighter animal. The upside is a big horse like that can haul more of the finished product to market for you.

But if it works out, I'm going to try teaching my dog to play guitar.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10200
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

First I had to convince Cutter to wear a saddle. Then I had to teach him that the bit belonged in HIS mouth. Then the biggy. Let me ride him. Then I taught him to let me shoot from the saddle. That was tricky...I even got him to not be afraid of fire and smoke. Yes I did...BUT... If you think I'm going to teach him how to use a knife...Yer as nutty as the guy....Well yer out of yer mind...That's all I need is a horse that can wield a knife...Hooves or no hooves...Besides he only weighs 930 lbs. Now Tulsa is a different story. Maybe 1300 lbs, but she's pregnant...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

I see what you mean, I've seen some dang good horses in my day but never one good with a knife....... Laughing Laughing Laughing Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
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Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:07 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

See? That was my point. How you going to get the horse to make jerky?

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Why would you want the horse to make jerky is a better question. I know what the flavor of the smoke would be. Partially used hay mixed in with ample portions of horse piss...Yummmy...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

I don't know if it would even matter how much the horse weighed, I still don't think it could make jerky.................. Wink Laughing Laughing Laughing unless of course the horses in the U.S. are trained different. Shocked How about your Cutter Bushy, could he do it....? Question Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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tracker
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Maybe that's why Bushy called him Cutter, he's the one slicing up the meat for the jerky. Think we've handled the original question yet? Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Was there a question connected with this string. I didn't know that...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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happycamper
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Joined: Dec 14, 2006
Posts: 42

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 12:28 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Horse buggers sound good
i was one told at burger king thay put in in with the hamburger
is this true?
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yotebuster
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Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Posts: 216
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 6:17 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

You might want to get a super sized order of horse chips to go with that burger. Oh, and hold the hay.
YB[b]

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:01 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Yotebuster...Those are called "Road Apples"...I know 'cause I have to shovel them out of the stalls every morning...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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yotebuster
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Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Posts: 216
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:32 am    Post subject: Re: Horse jerkey Reply with quote

Whatever............
YB

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