HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: ulfhednar
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12715

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 96
BOT: 2
Total: 98
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: PointBlank Ballistics
04: Forums
05: Photo Albums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Your Account
20: Your Account
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Home
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Your Account
30: Forums
31: News
32: Your Account
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Your Account
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Home
39: Home
40: Forums
41: Statistics
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Home
53: Your Account
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Your Account
57: Forums
58: Your Account
59: Forums
60: Your Account
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Your Account
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Your Account
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Photo Albums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2371
  · Views: 541126
  · Votes: 1312
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

SHOPPER
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14005
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:35 am    Post subject: SHOPPER Reply with quote

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

• 2 litres of low fat milk,
• a carton of eggs,
• 2 litres of orange juice,
• a head of lettuce,
• half a dozen tomatoes,
• a 500g jar of coffee,
• a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" Confused


The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly." wtf Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10695
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Never thought of that. When you're my age you really have to be OOOgly to be pasted up.

Got a little more then a chuckle out of that one...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5911

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:43 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:27 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one....... Very Happy Very Happy I guess no matter what everyone has to eat....... Laughing Laughing

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
freedyf
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Posts: 37
Location: Idaho Falls, Idaho

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one, Vince. I really appreciate your humor, it's good to have an Auzzie around. Freedyf

_________________
Hold'em, squeezem - make the first shot count, you may not get seconds.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10695
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yeah...Vince is our token Aussie. And it is nice to have him around plus the other Aussies assigned to this site...Ooops....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14005
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:05 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Thanks guys....some would suggest that I have a terribly warped sense of humour. Laughing

But I can live with it. Very Happy Laughing Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
popgun
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Mitchell, GA, U.S.A. (2007 pop. 191)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:41 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yep, I would suggest that Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
But that is a great one. Only a drunk would have enough liquid fortitude to say that to a womans face regardless of her looks.

_________________
Safe shooting,
Chris Young, aka: popgun, Moderator
I don't know everything but I have made most of the mistakes already and lived through many of them.
Back to top
View user's profile ICQ Number AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.