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Miss Beatrice
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12944
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 4:05 am    Post subject: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

You'll love this one!
> Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

> As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! wtf When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

> The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. Confused

> "! Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter." Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Daveyboy
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Member


Joined: Jan 22, 2006
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 5:05 am    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

Jeasus.

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Why, in films, don't they just kill it?
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sniper
Super Member
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Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:53 am    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

GROAN! ROFL
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515034s10ring
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:34 am    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

Shocked Laughing

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10236
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:43 am    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

Well...That's what it's for. Besides preventing little ones from showin' up unexpected...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:11 am    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

Shes a really "sweet" old lady not to know what a condom is used for Shocked

Mind you I dont even think they talked about that kind of stuff in school till about the time she was in her 50's. Very Happy

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Crackshot
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 3:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Miss Beatrice Reply with quote

Good one! Good One!

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The human mind is the weapon, the gun is just one of its tools.
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