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Story told by a loving wife...
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12944
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:48 am    Post subject: Story told by a loving wife... Reply with quote

This story was told by a loving wife........

At a church service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would
like to express praise for answered prayers.

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two
months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum
was completely crushed. Shocked The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move
caused him terrible pain.

" We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out
they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and
wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as
they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of
the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover
completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively
asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath.

I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Sat Jul 01, 2017 4:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6853
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:41 am    Post subject: Re: Story told by a loving wife... Reply with quote

yip that makes a bit of difference.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6951
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:18 am    Post subject: Re: Story told by a loving wife... Reply with quote

Ok, Vince. Thank for the chuckle this morning.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1511
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 9:26 am    Post subject: Re: Story told by a loving wife... Reply with quote

Dam coffee up the nose on the key board on the table all over me
but thanks for the laugh...

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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