HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Bobbo68
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12628

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 86
BOT: 1
Total: 87
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Photo Albums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Photo Albums
36: Photo Albums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Home
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Your Account
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Photo Albums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: News
56: Home
57: Home
58: Home
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Home
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2362
  · Views: 458433
  · Votes: 1311
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Half a Head
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
lesterg3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1327
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 4:26 am    Post subject: Half a Head Reply with quote

A man walks into a grocery store and wants to buy a half a head of lettuce
but the very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players in Texas."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No shit?" replied the boy. "What position did she play?"

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7620
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 5:32 am    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

Thanks for the morning chuckle, lester!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10584
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 7:28 am    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

Yup...Beats the hell out of Vince's jokes.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4500
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 10:32 am    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

Good one! That feller has a future, probably in politics...

_________________
Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5877
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

Haha What a silver tongued bastard.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7578
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

very quick thinking..... Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13659
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:49 am    Post subject: Re: Half a Head Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.