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So why did the chicken cross the road?
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:48 am    Post subject: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? Scratch

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(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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slimjim
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 5:22 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Thanks for the chuckle this morning, Vince. Very creative.

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Suzanne
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:50 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Outstanding!!! Cheers


Suz

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 9:48 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Sniper That damned chicken won't be crossing anymore roads.

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chambered221
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 11:48 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Soooooo Bushy helped the chicken cross on over to the other side..... literally !!! Laughing Laughing Laughing

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chambered221
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 11:50 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Sorry.... couldn't resist !!!

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Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
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gelandangan
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:27 pm    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Very Happy

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Aloysius
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 2:12 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

is this chicken a transgender? Why calling her a "he"? Is that the road she crossed? Is she now waking up everyone in the morning? Is she "riding" other chickens?
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Vince
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:39 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Aloysius wrote:
is this chicken a transgender? Why calling her a "he"? Is that the road she crossed? Is she now waking up everyone in the morning? Is she "riding" other chickens?

Now that's an interesting twist Aloys. Is this chicken transgender, or is it gay, bi or ambisexual? Scratch Scratch The mind boggles. Confused Confused Confused

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:04 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

We need a face palm emonicon......

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:59 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
We need a face palm emonicon......

Ummmm....

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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chambered221
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:20 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

wtf Micro-aggresion Micro-aggresion Micro-aggresion. ...... Where's the safe space !!!

_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:36 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Why...? Is Suz chasing you with her switch?

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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chambered221
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:04 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Perhaps your just not up to speed on the social issues Bushy to understand the sarcasm !!!

Suzy chasing me with her switch......Now that could be fun !!! Whip

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Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:12 am    Post subject: Re: So why did the chicken cross the road? Reply with quote

Ooooo kinky...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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