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Escaped Convict
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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wy111
Member
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Joined: Jun 02, 2005
Posts: 114
Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 2:06 pm    Post subject: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds:

"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, he thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too."
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Dimitri
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Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5911

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

Jaw Drop Haha :haha:

Good one! Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:49 am    Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha That's a great one.......!!!!!!!!!! Very Happy

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13923
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:08 am    Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

wtf wtf wtf Mad Surprised Shocked Yuck Yuck

OOooooo, that ain't a nice thought at all. But at least she still loves him.

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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515034s10ring
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:16 am    Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha :haha: Haha :haha:

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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GooseHunterJr
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Joined: Oct 18, 2005
Posts: 51
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:35 am    Post subject: Re: Escaped Convict Reply with quote

Haha Haha

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"Is it time to hunt yet"!
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