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Meanwhile in Australia....
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13171
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 3:19 am    Post subject: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Meanwhile In Australia.

You Know It's Hot In Australia When!

1) The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance

2) Hot water comes out of both taps

3) You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron

4) The temperature drops below 32c and you feel chilly

5) You discover that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car

6) You discover you can get sunburnt through your windscreen

7) You develop a fear of metal door handles

Cool You break a sweat the instance you step outside at 7am

9) Your biggest bicycle accident fear is "What if i get knocked out and end up lying on the road and getting cooked"

10) You realise asphalt has a liquid state

11) Farmers are feeding there chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs

12) The trees are whistling for dogs

13) While walking back barefoot to your car from any event, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark

14) You catch a cold from having the aircon on full blast all night long

15) You learn that Westfield Shopping Centre's aren't just Shopping Centre's, they are temples to worship Air-Conditioning

16) Sticking your head in the freezer and taking deep breaths is considered normal

17) A cup full of ice is considered a great snack

18) A black out is life threatening because your aircon and your fans no longer work.

19) No one cares if you walk around with no shoes on

20) You keep anything in the fridge, including potatoes, bread and clothing

21) People have enough left over beer cans to make a boat and compete in a regatta. (S.A joke)

22) The effort of towelling yourself off after a shower means you need another shower right away.

23) You will wait patiently until the day it starts raining to go on a run.

24) You worry your ceiling fan is spinning so fast it will fly off and Kill You

25) You Laugh because this list is so accurate
26) Share with ya mates so they can laugh too

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7151
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 5:42 am    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Ok, Vince, it wasn't that hot there yesterday. Only 99F. No breeze might be a bummer.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13171
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 6:00 am    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Yeah...not too hot mate...but the humidity was woeful...I didn't know if I was sweating or melting. wtf Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5760
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 1:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Headlines..

"Police found explosives in Sydney Harbour Bridge in the Eve of New Years Celebration"...

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3451
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote


_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3451
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote


_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3451
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Don't know which one I like best but either way I guess it works !!!

_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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wiersy111
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 13, 2009
Posts: 2347
Location: Central Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 5:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

Vince I think you need a trip to Minnesota to enjoy our great weather in January.

_________________
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."

US ARMY RETIRED

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it!
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7047
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 6:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

30 degrees here yesterday....that 80 odd for you lot, going to work is great as Scania has great air con Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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wiersy111
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Super Member


Joined: May 13, 2009
Posts: 2347
Location: Central Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 6:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

The high here today was -1 with a 25 mph wind.

_________________
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."

US ARMY RETIRED

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it!
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tikkat3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 696

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 7:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Meanwhile in Australia.... Reply with quote

38C here at the moment no breeze (100F)
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