HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Left-eye
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12441

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 551
BOT: 5
Total: 556
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Photo Albums
40: Forums
41: Photo Albums
42: Photo Albums
43: Photo Albums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Photo Albums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Photo Albums
83: Photo Albums
84: Photo Albums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Photo Albums
108: Photo Albums
109: Photo Albums
110: PointBlank Ballistics
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Photo Albums
114: Photo Albums
115: Forums
116: Statistics
117: Your Account
118: Photo Albums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: News
135: Photo Albums
136: Photo Albums
137: Forums
138: Photo Albums
139: Your Account
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Forums
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Forums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Forums
183: Forums
184: Forums
185: Photo Albums
186: Photo Albums
187: Forums
188: Forums
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Forums
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Photo Albums
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Photo Albums
209: Photo Albums
210: Forums
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Forums
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: PointBlank Online
219: Forums
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Forums
227: Forums
228: Photo Albums
229: Forums
230: Forums
231: Forums
232: Forums
233: Forums
234: Forums
235: Forums
236: Forums
237: Forums
238: Forums
239: Forums
240: Forums
241: Forums
242: Forums
243: Forums
244: Forums
245: Photo Albums
246: Photo Albums
247: Photo Albums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Forums
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Forums
254: Forums
255: Forums
256: Forums
257: Photo Albums
258: Forums
259: Forums
260: Forums
261: Photo Albums
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Forums
266: Your Account
267: Photo Albums
268: Forums
269: Forums
270: Forums
271: Forums
272: Your Account
273: Photo Albums
274: Forums
275: Photo Albums
276: Photo Albums
277: Forums
278: Photo Albums
279: Photo Albums
280: Forums
281: Home
282: Forums
283: Forums
284: Your Account
285: Photo Albums
286: Photo Albums
287: Forums
288: News
289: Forums
290: Forums
291: Forums
292: Forums
293: Forums
294: Forums
295: Forums
296: Forums
297: Your Account
298: Forums
299: Forums
300: Forums
301: Forums
302: Forums
303: Your Account
304: Your Account
305: Your Account
306: Your Account
307: Photo Albums
308: Home
309: Forums
310: Photo Albums
311: Forums
312: Photo Albums
313: Forums
314: Forums
315: Forums
316: Forums
317: Forums
318: Forums
319: Forums
320: Photo Albums
321: Photo Albums
322: Photo Albums
323: Statistics
324: Forums
325: Forums
326: Forums
327: Forums
328: Forums
329: Forums
330: Your Account
331: Forums
332: Home
333: Forums
334: Home
335: Forums
336: Forums
337: News
338: Forums
339: Forums
340: Photo Albums
341: Photo Albums
342: Forums
343: Forums
344: Forums
345: Forums
346: Forums
347: Forums
348: Forums
349: Forums
350: Forums
351: Forums
352: Forums
353: Forums
354: Forums
355: Forums
356: Forums
357: Forums
358: Forums
359: Forums
360: Forums
361: Forums
362: Forums
363: Photo Albums
364: Forums
365: Forums
366: Forums
367: Photo Albums
368: Forums
369: Forums
370: Forums
371: Forums
372: Forums
373: Forums
374: Forums
375: Forums
376: Forums
377: Forums
378: Forums
379: Forums
380: Forums
381: Forums
382: Forums
383: Forums
384: Photo Albums
385: Forums
386: Forums
387: Forums
388: Forums
389: Forums
390: Forums
391: Forums
392: Forums
393: Your Account
394: Photo Albums
395: Home
396: Photo Albums
397: Photo Albums
398: Photo Albums
399: Photo Albums
400: Forums
401: Forums
402: Forums
403: Forums
404: Forums
405: Forums
406: Forums
407: Photo Albums
408: Forums
409: Forums
410: Forums
411: Forums
412: Forums
413: Forums
414: Forums
415: Forums
416: Home
417: Your Account
418: Home
419: Home
420: Forums
421: Forums
422: Forums
423: Photo Albums
424: Photo Albums
425: Photo Albums
426: Forums
427: Forums
428: Photo Albums
429: Forums
430: Forums
431: Forums
432: Forums
433: Forums
434: Forums
435: Forums
436: Forums
437: Forums
438: Forums
439: Forums
440: Forums
441: Photo Albums
442: Photo Albums
443: Forums
444: Photo Albums
445: Photo Albums
446: Photo Albums
447: Photo Albums
448: Home
449: Your Account
450: Your Account
451: Your Account
452: Forums
453: Your Account
454: Your Account
455: Forums
456: Photo Albums
457: Forums
458: Forums
459: Forums
460: Forums
461: Forums
462: Forums
463: Forums
464: Forums
465: Forums
466: Home
467: Forums
468: Forums
469: Forums
470: Forums
471: Forums
472: Forums
473: Forums
474: Forums
475: Forums
476: Forums
477: Forums
478: Forums
479: Photo Albums
480: Forums
481: Forums
482: Your Account
483: Forums
484: Photo Albums
485: Forums
486: Home
487: Forums
488: Home
489: Forums
490: Photo Albums
491: Forums
492: Photo Albums
493: Photo Albums
494: Forums
495: Forums
496: Forums
497: Forums
498: Forums
499: Forums
500: Forums
501: Photo Albums
502: Forums
503: Forums
504: Forums
505: Forums
506: Forums
507: Forums
508: Forums
509: Forums
510: Forums
511: Forums
512: Photo Albums
513: Forums
514: Forums
515: Forums
516: Your Account
517: Your Account
518: Your Account
519: Photo Albums
520: Photo Albums
521: Home
522: Forums
523: Forums
524: Forums
525: Forums
526: Forums
527: Forums
528: Forums
529: Forums
530: Forums
531: Photo Albums
532: Forums
533: Forums
534: Forums
535: Forums
536: Forums
537: Forums
538: Forums
539: Forums
540: Forums
541: Forums
542: Forums
543: Forums
544: Your Account
545: Forums
546: Forums
547: Forums
548: Photo Albums
549: Forums
550: Photo Albums
551: Forums
  BOT:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: Home
04: Your Account
05: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 301
 Pictures: 2358
  · Views: 285094
  · Votes: 1297
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Army Rules
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
whittling
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2014 6:00 pm    Post subject: Army Rules Reply with quote

A few rules about the army I've learned in basic-
If you can see the enemy, he can see you.
Never tell a Sergeant you have nothing to do.
If the enemy is in range, so are you .
Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
CIF has only two sizes: too large and too small.
Whoever said, 'the pen is mightier than the sword', obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
Friendly fire isn't.
Tracers work both ways.
A M-16 is a light weapon for only the first 2 miles of a road trip.
You will hurry up to get to formation on time only to wait for the drill sgt. For a hour.
There is no such thing as getting smoked or punished- just corrective training.
Your weapon is most likely to jam on qualification day.
Cough drops are worth their weight in gold.
Volunteer for everything, just be a little slower than everyone else to do so.
Sadly, common sense can't be issued.
Haircut options- bald, bald or bald.
If you finish organizing your locker and relax for a minute the drill sarge will walk in yell at you for being lazy.

_________________
Molon labe!
Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Howz-about from the Navy point of view;

If you got hit on the last inspection for shoe shine and you spent extra time on it this time, you'll get hit this time for dirty fingernails.

If things turn out bad and someone yells "push-up position" and lights a cigar, you can forget about calling home any time soon.

Oh, and while in that push-up position, don't start sweating, they'll accuse you of crying and you'll never hear the end of it.

A marching party is really not a party at all. It starts at night when everyone else gets to bed down, but there isn't any drinking going on. I got to go to one and it was more of a yoga-like contortion contest with a lot of yelling going on....totally weird too.

A grinder is not a sandwich, but a scuttlebutt is a drinking fountain and a rumor.

The right side of a boat is the starboard side, the left side is the larboard side and also the port side. A sheet is a rope. A dog watch is not a watch for a dog but there is a first and second dog watch and each half hour a bell strikes. So are airdales dogs that fly?

A smoking lamp is not a lamp that smokes but when the lamp is lit, you can smoke.

You don't get hash in your chow but after 4 years you can get a hash mark.

If a boot has a bluejacket and an insect is a boot, then does an insect have a bluejacket?

If you have to go to bat, is that the same as going to mast? Should you wear a ball cap? Bring you're billet? Bow to the C.O. or the O.O.D.? shake their hand? bring offerings of candy?

If your section leader is dogging the watch so you can rotate in to watch a few salvos as you come on range, is that called a field day?

If you're topside on the quarterdeck fingering your liberty card, does that mean you're going on a shore patrol?



Scuse me
gotta get
some
geedunk

Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:06 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Stay away from those sticky buns Suz!!

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 1:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Oh Bushy they're sticky alright.



Suz
with a view

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5702
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

wtf Insane

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Suz...I don't mean those buns. I mean the ones with the maple sur...Oh never mind.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 364
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Suz,, is this close to the poop-deck ?

If you're topside on the quarterdeck fingering your liberty card, does that mean you're going on a shore patrol?

BTW I was army .

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:13 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Well the poop deck is to the rear of the boat and the quarterdeck is right in front of it and I'm no wog but I've done a lot a sailing (not Navy sailing tho).....so yes it's close to the poop deck.

Bushy I like my sticky buns covered in lemon cream...


Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:22 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Oh-oh...(Backing away slowly)....

Anyone know what a "dungbat" is? A "dungbat" is kept on the "poop deck" and has a line attached to it. Archie Bunker called his wife a "dingbat" if that helps.

How about "your turn in the barrel"? [old naval term (practice).]

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13024
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

"Your turn in the barrel"... Shocked Shocked Evil or Very Mad same as "looking for the golden rivet" I've heard.

Hey Suz..."sticky buns"...yummo mate Razz Razz slurrrrpppp. Laughing A very liberal coating of good quality butter and I'm in heaven...that's assuming your sticky buns are the same as those I'm thinking of...we call them finger buns.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Nothing like "your turn in the barrel" Vince.

Butter? Finger buns? I'm outa here...!!

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Victorian
Member
Member


Joined: Jul 07, 2014
Posts: 29
Location: Melbourne

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:51 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

whittling wrote:
You will hurry up to get to formation on time only to wait for the drill sgt. For a hour.
lol - we always said "hurry up and wait" - I guess it's universal
5th Bn RVR (The Victorian Scottish) Army Reserve Infantry

Another thing we said was that modern armies were similarly equipped and trained and the side that would win was the one that could withstand the most hardship and discomfort and keep functioning, so therefore our training was all about inflicting as much hardship and discomfort as possible - lol - but good times :-)

_________________
Ne Obliviscarus
Never Forget (1996)
Back to top
View user's profile
Victorian
Member
Member


Joined: Jul 07, 2014
Posts: 29
Location: Melbourne

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:00 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
"looking for the golden rivet"
??? never heard of that

"Choco" - vernacular for "Chocolate Soldier" - what regulars (Vince - ARA) would call me (Reservist). Chocolate because they reckon we would melt it if got hot Laughing

BTW, Vince, looking at the ARA badge, those rifles look like 7.62 converted SMLE's (not a 303). Would that be right? Curious. RVR still has the FN SLR on the badge.

_________________
Ne Obliviscarus
Never Forget (1996)
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 6:46 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

The golden rivet is found in the deepest bowels of the ship (the bilges). Also known as "bilge diving".

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1037
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:52 am    Post subject: Re: Army Rules Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
The golden rivet is found in the deepest bowels of the ship (the bilges). Also known as "bilge diving".
Shocked Also the place that the "old salts" go to teach the newbies about the "golden rivet"! Razz

_________________
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.