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Fe#@ Dat
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13981
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 2:04 am    Post subject: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

...another oldie but goodie

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shopin Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry..

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass..

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..'

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Feck dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too flam'n dangerous for me!'



THERE'S MORE. ....




Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'




IT IS NOT OVER YET....




Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fe#@ dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting.... And now Sean and his flam'n hengliding!'

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7826
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 2:16 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

terrible Mad ..atrocious Mad ...rubbish Evil or Very Mad ....shocking Crying or Very sad ....O.K I suppose Shocked ....not bad really Confused ...actually it was pretty good Smile .....great...fantastic..awesome Smile ...bravo Very Happy ...on core on core Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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dhc4ever
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Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2448
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 3:31 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

You two have issues, serious issues........

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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lesterg3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1327
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 3:50 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Wow!

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5957
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:12 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Vince forgot to eat his pills again..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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lesterg3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1327
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:19 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Yeah, or perhaps he's not stuffing that pipe with Borkum Riff.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10686
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 7:15 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Oh Brother...Gimme a break.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13981
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 9:51 pm    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2014 6:02 am    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

I think he's dehydrated.....fetch a beer for the poor boy



Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2014 1:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Fe#@ Dat Reply with quote

Shocked Faint

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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