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Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:14 am    Post subject: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female. ..... Any part under a car's hood.
Male. .... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female. ... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male. ... Playing cricket or baseball without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female. .... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male. .... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female. ... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male. ..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female. ... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male. ..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female. ... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male. ..... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female. ..... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male. .... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . .... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . .... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . .... We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . .... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said . .....They already have boyfriends.

She said. ....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . .... A widow.

He said . .... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . .... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 361
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:47 am    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

,,,,,, Cheers Party Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1030
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 12:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

Very Happy Spot on-Vince!

_________________
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2202
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 1:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

Who's side are you on?
Or are you trying to come down off the ladder?

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

His wife was lookin over his shoulder.....
I'm keepin score though.




gotta hone
my switch
gettin knife
Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5648
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

Haha

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 361
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 7:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

Suzanne wrote:
His wife was lookin over his shoulder.....
I'm keepin score though.




gotta hone
my switch
gettin knife
Suz
Cheers Love Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6745
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 11:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Eight Words with two Meanings, plus some more Reply with quote

I do like the last one!!!

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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