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IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13024
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 8:18 am    Post subject: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

'OLD' IS WHEN..... your wife says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one, I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN.... your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... a sexy woman catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN.... getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

'OLD' IS WHEN..... 'getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN..... an 'all-nighter' means not getting up to go to the toilet.

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:44 am    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

I'll add one more Vince.

speaking of bras

what does a 55 year old woman have between her boobs that a 18 year old doesnt?

Her navel.

Now where is that ladder? Hiding

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6935
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:31 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

I will pick up our teenagers cloths from off the floor but draw the line at Daughters over shoulder boulder holders!!!!! when asked why I calmly reply "Im not touching that...it maybe a booby trap"

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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:06 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Poor fellas.. Popcorn

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13024
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:12 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Suzanne wrote:
Poor fellas.. Popcorn

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3383
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:15 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Old is when the "old is when" jokes begin to make sense!

Would someone explain them to me? Wink

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Paul
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5706
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:24 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Would still be YEEEEARS away from the time I'll unnerstand these

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6935
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:38 am    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

old is when .....it takes all night to do what you used to do all night!!!

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10264
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:03 am    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Sleep??

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LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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multigauge
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Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 5:16 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

There are three signs of getting old. One is that you start to lose your memory, and I can't remember what the other one is.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13024
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:17 pm    Post subject: Re: IT'S NOT SO BAD!!!!!!!! Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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