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Giggles...oldies, but still goodies
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12909
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:27 am    Post subject: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

And yes, I know I'll probably go straight to Hell for this.

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite ... all he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill ... apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt …
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roché...

Just a Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots... Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.

An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan! He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

A boy asks his Irish granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, “Bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen!!?!

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6804
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:37 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

you a bad bad man Sad
but I like that in a buddy Very Happy Very Happy
thanks for that needed a chuckle its been a long day.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5669
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:32 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

Loved it Haha

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1235
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:16 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

Yeah oldies, but then so am I. And, I really needed a chuckle this morning.

Thanks Vince.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12909
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:41 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

I've brightened a few mates day...I'm a happy man.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2224
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:07 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

Happy you may be and rightly so.
But if suz reads a few of these that ladder of yours is a clear option.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12909
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:26 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

Oh, I have a very comfy and well worn seat up that ladder Pete. Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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Suzanne
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:37 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

You'll have to come down to go to the bathroom sometime Popcorn I think I hear your mother calling.....




"Vincent!...Vincent!...Time for dinner! Where are you boy?"

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12909
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 7:24 am    Post subject: Re: Giggles...oldies, but still goodies Reply with quote

Suzanne wrote:
You'll have to come down to go to the bathroom sometime Popcorn I think I hear your mother calling.....




"Vincent!...Vincent!...Time for dinner! Where are you boy?"

DOH Shocked Shocked Shocked Hiding

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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