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The rest of the story
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 5:22 pm    Post subject: The rest of the story Reply with quote

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?"
She asked.

"Hunting Flies"
He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."

Watch this, going paperless movie

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, they carry on shopping.

A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

That's him on Aisle 5........face down on the floor....ouch!

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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pete4d
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 425
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:39 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Ouch,,,, got me.....

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2360
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 1:19 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

He's right though........

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13634
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 3:49 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
He's right though........

Shocked Shocked Quick Pete, I think Suz is reachin' fer a switch mate. Surprised Shocked The ladder is over here and we got room at the top. Hiding Hiding Razz Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2360
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 4:02 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Beer as well?

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13634
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:46 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
Beer as well?

Need you ask mate...of course.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1829
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 8:04 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

No scotch ?????

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 1:43 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Good ones Suz.

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5871
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 2:51 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

scotch would work faster too..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13634
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 5:46 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Tremblay wrote:
No scotch ?????

Scotch...it could be arranged mate. Might get a bit wobbly up on the ladder though.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1829
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:05 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

How far is it to fall ???

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5871
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 7:50 pm    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Tremblay wrote:
How far is it to fall ???

Depends on the length of the string (or whip in this case).

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Aloysius
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2133
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 12:21 am    Post subject: Re: The rest of the story Reply with quote

Does one have to wear a string to drink scotch?
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