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MILITARY RULES
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:50 pm    Post subject: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

This is ..... interesting! hahaha
US Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with at least a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is
expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to
shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point
presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines.

Is this how the Navy really operates Bushy??

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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515034s10ring
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Re: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

Haha :haha: Haha

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2612
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:01 pm    Post subject: Re: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

I'm anxious to here what Bushy has to say for himself....... Very Happy

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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515034s10ring
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:09 pm    Post subject: Re: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

In Bushy's defense......Awww the hell with it.....I can't get him out of this one Popcorn

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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1895ss
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Posts: 2612
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:11 pm    Post subject: Re: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

He's a big boy and I think he should defend himself......... Smile

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Dimitri
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:03 pm    Post subject: Re: MILITARY RULES Reply with quote

Haha :haha: Haha

Thouse are great Very Happy I got to admit though the one for the Marines sounds like the better one Very Happy

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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