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Bureaucratic nonsense
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:32 am    Post subject: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

Thought you may be able to relate to the in this one even though the weather seems topical.

NOAH TODAY

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain in Queensland first for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
Weeping in his yard - but no Ark
"Noah!," He roared, "I've started the rain in Queensland!
Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

"I needed a Building Permit."

"I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector
About the need for an on-board sprinkler system."

"My neighbours claim that I've violated the
Neighbourhood Bye-Laws by building the Ark in my
Backyard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
Go to the Council Planning Committee for a decision."

"Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power
Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
Passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them
That the sea would be coming to us, but they would
Hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Mopoke."
"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the the Mopokes - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
Argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and
It was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
A confined space."

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study
On your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
Supposed to hire for my building gang."

"Immigration are checking the
Visa status of most of the people who want to work."

"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They
Insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the Australian Taxation Office seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
With endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10
Years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared over Queensland, the sun began to shine,
And a rainbow stretched across the sky."

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord.
" The Australian Government beat me to it."

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5648
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

Haha

That's a great one.. No joke though

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6745
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

very good and too plury true.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 361
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:03 am    Post subject: Re: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

Vince ,, you sure you're not in the U S A Flag Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:13 am    Post subject: Re: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

pete4d wrote:
Vince ,, you sure you're not in the U S A Flag Cheers

No mate...but I'm sure that things are pretty much the same here as they are there.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2202
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Bureaucratic nonsense Reply with quote

Since the mid 1970's Australia has had an increase of laws by over 300%, seems politicians in an effort to justify their oxygen theiving keep writing laws. And just think it all started with moses and 10 simple rules on how to live in a group............

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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