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Modern courses
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2354
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:31 am    Post subject: Modern courses Reply with quote

Courses for Women

Women think they already know everything, but wait, .training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait until After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . .. . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
26. Getting ready to go out: Start the day before.


Please register immediately as courses are expected to be in great demand.

Now wheres that ladder.....

Hiding

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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slimjim
Super Member
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7528
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:35 am    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Yes, you better duck for cover! Better make sure SWMBO isn't looking over my shoulder. Oops here she comes! Run!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7528
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:36 am    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

dhc4ever, I did get a good morning chuckle! Thanks.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10545
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:32 am    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

My junior half said that wasn't funny...I'm still laughing.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:38 am    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Good one.

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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tikkat3
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 713

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 2:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Love it, some prime examples there.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5862
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Show this to my daughter and
she say she will tell mum that dad need to see the doctor.

Hiding

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:56 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Men think they know everything. Men have only 2 faults, everything they say, and everything they do. Actually if you think about it, it's the girls that make the men think they know everything.

so there
Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10545
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Damn Suz...Don't hold back. Let it all go.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:08 am    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Well......if I didn't say anything...come on.....you know....

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 804

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Come on Suz, tell us how you really feel!

OK guys, time to duck. Laughing

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13603
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Pete...I gotta concede the crown to ya on this one mate...it;'s brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Now, I wonder if my ghillie suit will hide me in the hedge after SWMBO sees this one. scared Hiding

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1105
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Modern courses Reply with quote

Definitely not showing that to her majesty......

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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