As it is and so it shall be.....

dhc4ever · Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:36 pm Post subject: As it is and so it shall be.....

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him,
resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look,
Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going
to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test 'Balance.'"

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern
Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white
people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all
things."

extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and
said, "What's that one?"

"That's Brisbane, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful
trees and gardens, a beautiful river, and days filled with sunshine. The
people from Brisbane are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and
humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely
sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of
good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about
balance, God? You said there would be 'balance.'"

God smiled, "I will create Canberra
Wait till you see the idiots I put there"

Elvis

oh dear Im pleased Im not from Canberra

Suzanne

HHHhmmmmm seems to be tailor made, right to the point! Are there issues in Canberra? You know...other than the usual stuff like;

+25°C: Queenslanders turn on the heat. Melbournians sunbathe.
+10°C: Melbournians turn on the heat. People in Tasmania plant gardens.
+5°C: Sydney residents shiver uncontrollably. People in Canberra go swimming.
+2°C: Italian cars won't start. People in Canberra drive with the windows open.
0°C: Distilled water freezes. Canberra water gets thicker.
-7°C: Sydney people wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Canberra throw on a T-shirt.
-9°C: Queenslanders begin to evacuate the state. People in Canberra go camping.
-18°C: Melbourne landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canberra have a last BBQ before it gets cold.
-23°C: People in Perth cease to exist. People in Canberra lick flagpoles.
-29°C: Sydney people fly away to South Pacific islands. People in Canberra throw on a light jacket.
-40°C: Darwin disintegrates. People in Canberra rent videos.
-51°C: Mt. Hotham freezes. Canberra Girl Guides begin selling Guide biscuits door to door.
-62°C: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Penguins leave Antarctica. Canberra Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-73°C: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Canberra put on a coat.
-114°C: Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Canberra get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
-183°C: Microbial life start to disappear. Canberra cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273°C: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Canberra start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-296°C: Hell freezes over. Canberra wins the soccer.

Suz

Vince

Good one Suz...sorta describes Canberra perfectly I reckon. Canberra is the National Capitol of Australia...it's where the Federal Parliament sits, and where the biggest bunch of bludging no-hopers spend their days lazing away in Parliament House...led (for the time being) by a female 'RANGA...but not for much longer. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cheers, Vince

dhc4ever

After last nights election result in QLD, one would think the Ranga and the faceless faction turds of the labor party can now do the impossible and predict the future with 100% certainty.
Bring on the federal election...........now would be nice.

gelandangan

Too right!!

MacD

The right to complain about your government any way you want to is precious. Ain't freedom great? Unfortunately I am still a public servant and have to keep my thoughts to myself but once I retire look out you pompous b'tards in Ottawa.

gelandangan

Well Mac, if you complain sooner, got got to get to retire sooner too
More time to hunt out those deer Very Happy