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Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
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  · Views: 824068
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Remember They Vote Too:
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2612
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:38 am    Post subject: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and
hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it,
you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even
one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that
people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good
to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50".
The next day someone stole it.

Caution! . . . . . . . These people Vote

=======

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want
the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East,
(and has for sometime), she shook her head and said,
"Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff".
. . . . . . . .She ALSO votes!

==========

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the
call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
" He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly,
I said, "Uh, Pacific" .
. . . . . . . He ALSO votes!

==========

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking
about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get
sunburned because the car was moving".
. . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!

==========

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases
were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount
. . . . . . He ALSO votes!

==========

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a
nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said,
"Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?"
I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance
apart no matter whichway thehead is turned.
. . . . . . . . . . My friend ALSO votes!

=========

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went
to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags
never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she
was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? ".
. . . . . . . . . SHE ALSO votes!

=========

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he
would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He though about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 .
. . . . . . . . .Yep, he votes too.

=========


Now you know who elects the politicians !

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 3:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

And Dimitri votes too...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Hey now Bushmaster Flame

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Dimitri...Read the last sentense of 1895ss' joke. Then read your's...Then read mine....And you DO vote don't you???

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

I didnt elect anyone when I voted Laughing

My vote couldnt have mattered less in the area I'm in actually Sad

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Win, lose or draw...All votes count...Voting is not a privilage. It is not a right. It is not required. But It Is Your Responsibility to vote....Or I wasted 40 years in the service of my country so you could. The same goes for our Canadian friends north of us...And no...I haven't forgotten our friends south of us (That's DEEP south) Vince...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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atmmech96
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Mar 12, 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Peoples Republic of Maryland

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Hey Bushmaster, what branch and Thanks.

Kyle
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

22 years in the US NAVY 20 years as a civilian contractor working for NAVSEA SUPSALV ESSM Base. Basicaly we are the US Navy's giant tool box. If they want a 10" pump, 40 KW Generator, 50 GPM 2500psi Hydralic power unit or want us to clean up an oil spill at sea we provide...We maintain, overhaul and operate this machinery and boats for them...Hence over 40 years serving my country...Hopefully my wife will let me retire within the next two years or sooner...She's a bit greedy...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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atmmech96
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Mar 12, 2005
Posts: 7
Location: Peoples Republic of Maryland

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

good fun being in the Navy. I spent 5 years on the left coast as a in flight electronics tech on P-3's. Did P.I [fun] and Adak [not so fun] .
Kyle
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 9:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Remember They Vote Too: Reply with quote

Aah yes...The venerable P-3 Orions....Only four engine plane that I have ever seen fly on only one engine delibretely. and at an altitude of only 100 feet or so. Just enought ot pass over my Destroyer and drop the mail...South Pacific at the equator...In the middle of nowhere...Actually it was in the middle of the bulls eye of the Russian missile range. 1964-1968...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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