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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15701 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:49 pm Post subject: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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OK...a funny one...or is it scary...not sure.
man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you head for the nearest Gun Shop and spend the money on ammunition?" the man asked.
"You gotta be joking...I haven't been able to afford a gun or ammo for longer than I can remember!" replied the man.
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, shooting and sex."
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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tjparker_81 Member
Joined: Sep 25, 2011 Posts: 52 Location: Aiken, South Carloina
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:43 pm Post subject: Re: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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I desperately need a beer after that one. Among other things.
_________________ I once thought I was wrong, but i was mistaken. |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:56 pm Post subject: Re: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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Outstanding.
Makes up for your last effort..............almost.
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15701 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 4:55 am Post subject: Re: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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Thanks for the morning chuckle, Vince!
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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44marty Super Member
Joined: Mar 20, 2009 Posts: 775 Location: Cheshire, MA; USA
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:48 am Post subject: Re: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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NICE Vince!! I went fishing early this morning, came home for some recoil therapy with my 300 WBY, cracked a beer and then read this. I no longer have a wife, so I might have a shot at sex tonight, too. Guess I'm doing OK.
_________________ _____________________________________
The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling
I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!! |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15701 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 7:02 pm Post subject: Re: Beer, Fishing, Golf Shooting & Sex |
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_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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