View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9253 Location: south island New Zealand
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 2:16 am Post subject: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.
Lawrence explained that, as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..." he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior Constable Jackie approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' Senior Constable Jackie told the magistrate.
'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin...'
Constable Jackie went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ....
"I said: 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?
"Lawrence froze. He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me straight in the eye and said: ....
'A pumpkin? Shit - is it midnight already'?"
The court (and the magistrate) could not contain their mirth.
The Geelong Post wrote an article describing this as
'The best come-back line ever.'
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 5:31 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
Classic.
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15714 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:09 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
|
Back to top |
|
|
RePete Super Member
Joined: Aug 15, 2005 Posts: 1035 Location: Gods Country
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:38 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
_________________ Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.
Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.
Nice try = You Suck spelled different.
My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as RESPECT FOR OTHERS. |
|
Back to top |
|
|
lesterg3 Super Member
Joined: Nov 30, 2008 Posts: 1328 Location: Dixie
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:11 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
_________________ "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson
"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6397 Location: Sydney Australia
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:47 pm Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
|
Back to top |
|
|
PaulS Super Member
Joined: Feb 18, 2006 Posts: 4330 Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 5:26 pm Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s |
|
Never eating another pumpkin, in any way, EVER!
NEVER!
_________________ Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|