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A few wee giggles
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13138
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:03 am    Post subject: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
*************************************************************
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
*************************************************************
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
*************************************************************
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
*************************************************************
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
*************************************************************
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
*************************************************************
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
*************************************************************
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
*************************************************************
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
*************************************************************
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
*************************************************************
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
*************************************************************
I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.
*************************************************************
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
*************************************************************
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
*************************************************************
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
*************************************************************
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
*************************************************************

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1269
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:43 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Thanks Vince I really needed a chuckle.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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MacD
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Joined: Apr 08, 2011
Posts: 1052
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:13 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Priceless

_________________
La a'Blair s'math n Cairdean
(Friends are good on the day of battle)
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4403
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:45 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

My favorite is "Deja Moo"! Thanks Vince!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10302
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:53 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

"DAM"!!

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5736
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:56 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

no pun in ten did

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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44marty
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Joined: Mar 20, 2009
Posts: 775
Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

GROOOAAANNNN !!!

Why, after reading the first couple, couldn't I stop myself from reading them all????

A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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_____________________________________

The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling

I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:52 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Same here Marty!! Freekin Henny Youngman goin on there..Thanx Vinnie!!

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1561
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:52 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

he-he-ha

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13138
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:50 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

I'm a happy man...I have spread chuckles galore.

What more can a man ask from life...other than a nice fat 8 x 8 buck on the last day of his hunt.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ghost
Member
Member


Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Posts: 25
Location: European Forrest

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:26 am    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

amputated your arms. Laughing Laughing Laughing Very Happy
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inthedark
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Joined: Jan 31, 2011
Posts: 738
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:19 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'.

_________________
Chimo
Ron

War is sweet to those who have no experience of it, but the experienced man trembles exceedingly at heart on its approach - Pindar 518-438BC
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:39 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

inthedark wrote:
Whats the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl will say 'you can' and a southern girl will say 'Y'all can'.

Haha Haha Haha Haha

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10302
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:15 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

Busy ladies those southern gals....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1561
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:46 pm    Post subject: Re: A few wee giggles Reply with quote

More fun too !!!

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