HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: StevHey
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12381

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 196
BOT: 4
Total: 200
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Your Account
03: Forums
04: Your Account
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Photo Albums
11: Photo Albums
12: Photo Albums
13: Home
14: Photo Albums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Home
18: Photo Albums
19: Home
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Your Account
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Photo Albums
32: Home
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Photo Albums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Your Account
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Photo Albums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Home
58: Home
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Photo Albums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Your Account
73: Forums
74: Your Account
75: Home
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Your Account
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Photo Albums
82: Photo Albums
83: Forums
84: Photo Albums
85: Photo Albums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Photo Albums
93: Your Account
94: Your Account
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Photo Albums
99: Forums
100: Photo Albums
101: Home
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Photo Albums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Photo Albums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Your Account
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Your Account
119: Forums
120: Photo Albums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Photo Albums
126: Forums
127: Home
128: Forums
129: Photo Albums
130: Forums
131: Home
132: Forums
133: Photo Albums
134: Forums
135: Photo Albums
136: Your Account
137: Photo Albums
138: Your Account
139: Forums
140: Your Account
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Photo Albums
145: Forums
146: Photo Albums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Photo Albums
156: Members List
157: Forums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Photo Albums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Photo Albums
165: Home
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Photo Albums
170: Your Account
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Forums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Photo Albums
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Your Account
183: Forums
184: Forums
185: Forums
186: Forums
187: Statistics
188: Photo Albums
189: Your Account
190: Photo Albums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
  BOT:
01: Your Account
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2417
  · Views: 250032
  · Votes: 1255
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Grandpa's Audit
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 748

PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 7:03 pm    Post subject: Grandpa's Audit Reply with quote

Revenue Canada Audits Grandpa

Revenue Canada decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. Revenue Canada does not find that believable."

"I'm a great gambler and I can prove it." says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet..."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really..." says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12813
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Grandpa's Audit Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6740
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:18 am    Post subject: Re: Grandpa's Audit Reply with quote

very good
thanks for the chuckle.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 10:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Grandpa's Audit Reply with quote

Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.