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Preaching
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2256
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:38 pm    Post subject: Preaching Reply with quote

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next....

He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an
IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL,
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear.. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus...Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ...circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5744
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Haha

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:05 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

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(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10302
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:09 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Ya think??

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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1156
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:53 am    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Good un. Very Happy
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RePete
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Joined: Aug 15, 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Party ROFL Laughing

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ROADJOCKY
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Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 101
Location: SOUTHERN-OHIO

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Preaching Reply with quote

Saved by the skin of his Mad Mad Mad Mad
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