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Bean Counters
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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SwampFox
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:42 am    Post subject: Bean Counters Reply with quote

If the bean counters ever get you down, a little knowledge that they haunt the halls of the mundane and the mighty.
Ed



Gentlemen:
Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests, which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch rider to our headquarters.
We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty’ Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing have been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.
Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion’s petty cash and there has been hideous confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances, since we are at war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen at Whitehall.
This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instruction from His Majesty’s Government, so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with my best ability, but I cannot do both.
1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London, or, perchance
2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.

Your most obedient servant,

Wellington

_________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10298
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:49 am    Post subject: Re: Bean Counters Reply with quote

everyone has his or her problems...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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