HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Jim_1960
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12373

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 41
BOT: 6
Total: 47
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Home
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Home
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Photo Albums
18: Forums
19: Photo Albums
20: Forums
21: News
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Photo Albums
25: Forums
26: Your Account
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Your Account
31: Your Account
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Your Account

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2415
  · Views: 247297
  · Votes: 1255
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

What women really want / mean
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12773
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:47 am    Post subject: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

What women really want / mean.

1. "Fine"

This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that
you should shut up. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

2. "Five minutes"

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. "Nothing"

"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)

This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a
"Five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."

5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)

This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just
a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are
a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

7. "Soft Sigh"

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of The few things that some men actually understand. It means she is
momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. "Oh"

This word-followed by any statement-is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If
she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

9. "That's Okay"

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do"

This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a
chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

11. "Thanks"

The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot"

Dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud
Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5904
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10181
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:40 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Big D...Those are truer then you may think...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12773
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:34 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Oh yeah...they are ALL totally true...scary as that thought may be.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1029
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:44 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

wtf Gawd Vince-after reading those I started hatin both of my Ex's all over again!
Hey Dimitri- How was your walkabout in Oregon-give us some details? Smile
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5904
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:47 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Never said they weren't true.

TRBLSHTR,

The walk about was good, ended up spending about half my time there in town. I did learn alot about water talking about the irrigation system to people there, to think we take rainfall and water for granted here and don't too much think about having to "control" and "conserve" it. I had pretty good food when I was there (had biscuits and gravy for the first time Cool ) And there were a couple cute girls I met, and no I was a total gentleman with them no "stories" to tell. Laughing

All in all I liked Oregon alot, shame I had to go back to work so quickly I'd have stayed a little longer. Sad

Enjoyed a few drinks of Pendleton Whiskey and Widmer Hefeweizen beer, both good wish I could have taken some back with me! Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5636
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:55 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Woman are so confusing...
I'd rather decode and re write M$ Windows than trying to understand them..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:25 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

And people wonder why I'm divorced Very Happy
Joe

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Grant
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 28, 2006
Posts: 303
Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:25 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Ohhhhhhhh...................

The nightmares will start all over again Vince, thanx buddy. 5 years of psycho therapy out the window..... Sad

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
Back to top
View user's profile
Morax
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:32 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

ya know i had one of those "nothing" discussions tonight... ended with me going upstairs and falling asleep in front of the television with the cat on my lap...
Back to top
View user's profile
tikkat3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 676

PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:40 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Vince,
I'm in need of some help.
Can you please use your great knowledge and wisdom to give us all the true meaning of
"DON'T, STOP"
Back to top
View user's profile
d_hoffman
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:10 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Don't stop has atleast 2 very different meanings depending on if there's a well defined pause between the 2 words or not. No pause Very Happy , pause Crying or Very sad ROFL

_________________
The best form of gun control...aim straight!!!
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12773
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

Well now tikkat old mate...I don't think I could describe it any more diplomatically, or better, than Hoffy has.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:10 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

D-Hoff,

As a writer and a person that loves the English language with all of its nuances. I couldn't have said it any better.

Cary

_________________
Rancher/Environmental Scientist
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10181
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:31 am    Post subject: Re: What women really want / mean Reply with quote

With my "sailors vocabulary" I'm not touchin' that either... Very Happy

I will say that one could get you the cops....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.