HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 198
BOT: 2
Total: 200
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Home
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Photo Albums
08: Home
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Home
12: Photo Albums
13: Photo Albums
14: Forums
15: Home
16: Home
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Home
25: Forums
26: Your Account
27: Forums
28: Photo Albums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Home
36: Home
37: Forums
38: Home
39: Forums
40: Home
41: Home
42: Home
43: Home
44: Home
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Home
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Your Account
59: Forums
60: Home
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Home
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Home
74: Your Account
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Photo Albums
79: Forums
80: Photo Albums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Home
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Photo Albums
91: Forums
92: Photo Albums
93: Home
94: Home
95: Your Account
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Your Account
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Home
106: Forums
107: Your Account
108: Home
109: Forums
110: Home
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Home
115: Your Account
116: Forums
117: Your Account
118: Photo Albums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Your Account
123: Forums
124: Photo Albums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Your Account
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Your Account
134: Forums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Photo Albums
138: Forums
139: Home
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: News
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Your Account
146: Forums
147: Home
148: Home
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Home
154: Your Account
155: Photo Albums
156: Your Account
157: Forums
158: Photo Albums
159: Home
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Photo Albums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Home
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Photo Albums
174: Photo Albums
175: Forums
176: Home
177: Photo Albums
178: Your Account
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Home
183: Forums
184: Forums
185: Forums
186: Forums
187: Home
188: Forums
189: Photo Albums
190: Home
191: Home
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Statistics
  BOT:
01: Home
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824153
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Condom factory burns down in New Zealand
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:34 am    Post subject: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Parental Advisory Parental Advisory

Condom factory burns down in New Zealand :

Helen Clarke, ex-Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4 a.m by the telephone.

"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy !! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."

PM: "Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W'ill be ruined."

Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain ?"

PM: "No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.

Hilth Munister: "What about Australia ?"

PM: "I'll call Tony Abbott. Tell him we need one million condoms, ten enches long and eight enches thuck. That way they'll continue to respect the 'All Blacks'."

Three days later, a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.

She finds one million condoms - 10 enches long, 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.



"MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM"

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Haha

Bloody loved it!!

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:25 am    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Beer does wonders to your key board... Laughing

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 957
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

ain't gonna go there Cheers

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other. up-date

The secret to enjoying life is to never take it too seriously, as you will never make it out alive!

I'm on the watch list are you ?
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

The REAL story was actually the other way round! Vince just didn't want to be shown up .....

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

LOL Not so..
Here in Oz, the guberment is payin out $$$ for us to procreate..
They would look at condom shortages as a boon.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9253
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

ho hummmm.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Shouldn't tat have been size small?

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Also I thought them kiwis would be happier, I'm sure they could do with them extra sheep for export..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

And the Aussie verses NZ wars begin...Again.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6398
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:27 am    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Nah Bushy, we love your Long Clouds cuzins.
Its ANZAC and all... without them we would be AAC.. such an ugly name.
Besides knowing how to make sheep happy.. they are also good mates.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9253
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:23 am    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

contrary to common belief it wasnt the french that invented the condom it was in fact the Australians...the french just worked out to take away the rest of the sheep!!!

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:13 am    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Ya got that wrong Elvis...the condom was invented in the Middle East a few hundred years ago using goat intestines...it was the English who perfected it by taking the intestines out of the goat first. Embarassed Embarassed

OK...I'm on me way to the ladder. Sad

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1071
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

Very Happy Good Vince-but I also heard that before the goat episode the english were using chickens-with the feathers(that might have been the original "french tickler")! Shocked
Don't slow going up that ladder! wtf

_________________
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
Back to top
View user's profile
Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2650
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand Reply with quote

personal I do not shower with a raincoat on ....!!!!!!

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 3
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.