HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: IPutMoInYoA
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13131

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 95
BOT: 3
Total: 98
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Home
09: Photo Albums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Home
14: Forums
15: Your Account
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Home
20: Home
21: Forums
22: Home
23: Forums
24: Your Account
25: Your Account
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Home
33: Forums
34: Photo Albums
35: Home
36: Forums
37: Home
38: Your Account
39: Home
40: Photo Albums
41: Home
42: Home
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Home
48: Forums
49: Home
50: Home
51: Home
52: Your Account
53: Photo Albums
54: Home
55: Forums
56: Photo Albums
57: Your Account
58: Forums
59: Home
60: Home
61: Home
62: Forums
63: Home
64: Forums
65: Home
66: Home
67: Home
68: Home
69: Forums
70: Home
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Home
74: Your Account
75: Your Account
76: Home
77: Forums
78: Your Account
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Reloading Database
82: Forums
83: Home
84: Forums
85: Photo Albums
86: Forums
87: Your Account
88: Home
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Photo Albums
92: Home
93: Home
94: Forums
95: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Home
03: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2452
  · Views: 824109
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Perks of being over 50.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:20 pm    Post subject: Perks of being over 50. Reply with quote

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "


5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


7. Things you buy now won't wear out.


8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm. Shocked


9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenges.


12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.


13. You sing along with elevator music.


14. Your eyes won't get much worse.


15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.


16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.


19. You can't remember who sent you this list



And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience. Confused


Also Forward this to every one you can remember

----------------------------

Shocked Very Happy Shocked Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
yotebuster
Member
Member


Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Posts: 216
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:02 am    Post subject: Re: Perks of being over 50. Reply with quote

Dimitri, you are wise beyond your years. I resemble those remarks. LOL
YB Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
May all your Bloodtrails be Vertical!
Back to top
View user's profile
sniper
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Perks of being over 50. Reply with quote

DISCRIMINATION! Well, that seems to work for everybody else, when obvious, uncomfortable facts are pointed out. Laughing Good one, Dimitri!

Haha

I do wish to express mild disagreement with #9, but my wife keeps suggesting we visit Viagra Falls, or some such. Very Happy Izzat in your neighbourhood?
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5944

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Perks of being over 50. Reply with quote

Niagara falls is a few hours away from me Wink www.infoniagara.com/ Wink www.infoniagara.com/ Wink

As for Viagra is many many years away ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 6:27 am    Post subject: Re: Perks of being over 50. Reply with quote

mumble grumble mumble grumble

Gee thanks Dimitri......I started ticking off the ones that applied to me and when I got to #9 and had ticked every one I gave up.

Sniper.....what is it about women who want to visit waterfalls???? Mine said something about "visiting" those same falls (Viagra Falls). Laughing

Cheers Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.