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Something That I Didn't Know.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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RePete
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:21 pm    Post subject: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

I did not know this.....

When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure,

When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,

When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Warn all your friends

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Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Bourbon is not on that list Im safe.Or I can just stick to beer... speaking of which Vince hows the cooler looking???

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tjparker_81
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

My cooler is empty.

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

well get your sorry butt down to the store and grab us some while you down there then Very Happy please Very Happy

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English Mike
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

I guess my innate dislike for ice in liquor is well grounded.
Plus you can get stomach bugs in ice but never in a bottle of Scotch. Very Happy
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Vince
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:30 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

English Mike wrote:
I guess my innate dislike for ice in liquor is well grounded.
Plus you can get stomach bugs in ice but never in a bottle of Scotch. Very Happy

Totally correct Mike...also ice melts and turns into the "local" water which pollutes and alters the taste.

Cheers, Vince

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inthedark
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
English Mike wrote:
I guess my innate dislike for ice in liquor is well grounded.
Plus you can get stomach bugs in ice but never in a bottle of Scotch. Very Happy

Totally correct Mike...also ice melts and turns into the "local" water which pollutes and alters the taste.

Cheers, Vince
In 1977, I was deployed to Egypt as a Radio Operator in the CCUNEFME II (Canadian Contingent United Nations Emergency Force Middle East 2). I was 21 years old and the Detachment Commander for the United Nations Canadian Signal Detachment Swedbatt (Swedish Battalion (Infantry)). A friend of mine from the Swedish contingent and I had the day off and we decided to go into the city of Ismailia where the headquarters of the UN was located and go walk about. At a café that was on the approved list of eating-places I made the mistake of having a vodka screwdriver with ice. My friend didn’t.

I ended up with what we used to call "Gypo Gut'.

We returned to our base Swedbatt in the Sinai and that evening I came down ill. I don’t remember much of what happened other than vomiting and soiling myself, then nothing. The Swedish medics/doctor were not sure if I had caught some bug or if I had been bitten by one of the venomous scorpions or snakes that I cast into plastic cast for souvenirs. I was so sick that they wouldn't med-evac me out of the desert.
The Swedish Sergeant Major, Puttar Dael was the head cook and had adopted me along with the rest of our detachment of Canadians as our father figure. (My middle name is Karl Gustav. That is also the name of the Swedish King. My ancestors were also Swedish then German.)

When I had awoken after three days, I saw the face of Putter Dael smiling down at me and he said his usual greeting to the Canadians when we went to eat at the Swedish mess hall," More Food For The Canadians". I knew that I would be all right.
The Staff Company commanding officer Per Olaf Michelle told me after I had regained consciousness that Puttar never left my bedside from the time that I went to ground until I had awoken. They were so afraid that I would not make it.

I went from 170lbs when I departed for Egypt and a year later when I came home I weighted barely 120lbs. My parents met me at the airport and back in those days you walked directly from the aircraft through the door and directly into the waiting area. The first thing my mom said was 'What did they do to you'. I guess I looked like a concentration camp survivor. My uniform just hung off me like I was a hanger.
Chimo
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Elvis
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:40 pm    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

That settles it for once and for all.
No ice for me please.

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Vince
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:47 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

+ 1 Elvis

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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lesterg3
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Neat for me, no pun intended.

And then in early 1969 on a two day stopover in the Philippines, on my way to a lovely vacation spot called Vietnam, I was introduced to San Miguel beer, and subsequently dysentery. What fun we had there, oh and then there was that little Philippine maiden, and sadly her six brothers with really big assed knives.

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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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Vince
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 5:16 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

lesterg3 wrote:
Neat for me, no pun intended.

And then in early 1969 on a two day stopover in the Philippines, on my way to a lovely vacation spot called Vietnam, I was introduced to San Miguel beer, and subsequently dysentery. What fun we had there, oh and then there was that little Philippine maiden, and sadly her six brothers with really big assed knives.

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

There has to be more to this story than you are letting on Lester. Very Happy Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
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Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:12 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Ok this is gettin good now.....go on please...more of that "back when I was in the RAF in Manila in 1923....they really like silk nylons and.....we drank fermented lizard blood with a......but the night was wearing on and she didn't have a bathing suit....snakes abound in that area and going to the looo is tricky with.....I gave her my hat pin but she didn't have a place to pin it.....the medics were all Mexicans and they used tortillas to patch the.....some time in the early morning I guess she left, I still have a shorter.....veteran's benefits wouldn't cover the loss of my.....had finger nails like daggers but I'm proud of the scars, my wife never.....younger than I was and drank till midnight on the beach....dug a hole just big enough to bury it, the cats found it and.....left a gooie reminder on my lap.....I was lucky to get free and lucky no one was looking.....


that was cool
Suz



Suz

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lesterg3
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:26 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Gosh, I thought the 6 really big knives said it all. A gentleman never tells, especially when the story includes he was scared sh--less.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:58 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Aah the stories I could tell you Suz. All about my "adventures" in the South Pacific. Let's see...There was Guam (G ive U p A nd M asterbate), Singapore, Hong Kong, Philipeans, American Samoa, Japan and many other places in and among all those islands. Aah yes...The "old days"...

I was always told to NOT dring the water, but to drink the beer. Lester, if you had made sure that the SanMigel was from the Manila breweries you would have been fine. And the Phillipean "maidens" that I met didn't let their brothers know about me. Never met any of them. And damn glad I didn't.

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lesterg3
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:04 am    Post subject: Re: Something That I Didn't Know. Reply with quote

Yeah, and when I wax medi-vaced out of Nam I spent 6 months in Yokosuka, Japan. Where you ever there Bushy, did you meet Big T--s Katie, wow what a night.

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"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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