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Questions and Answers
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13066
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 4:41 am    Post subject: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
bible... Is that true? Where is it?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ..."

Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year-old mate?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 60-plus people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year
olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember all these!"

SMILE, You've still got your
sense of humor, RIGHT?

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Thu May 19, 2011 9:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1550
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 7:59 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Hey thanks vince I needed reminded

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4804
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

#6 buwahahahahaha...coffee through the nose, dang it Vince! Laughing

Aint sure how many keyboards he owes me. Smile
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..Cheers, Vince

And I ended up going to the tool shed cuz I mentioned this in a different post. Very Happy Very Happy Right Suz. Very Happy

See Here

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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jeh7mmmag
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Posts: 219
Location: DFW, TX.

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

LOL I resemble those!

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DAV
VNE USS LEX CVT-16 BLUE GHOST V2 CATS ABE-2
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13066
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 9:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Ominivision1 wrote:
Vince wrote:
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..Cheers, Vince

And I ended up going to the tool shed cuz I mentioned this in a different post. Very Happy Very Happy Right Suz. Very Happy

See Here

OK...I'm on me way to the tool shed...even put a tin plate down me pants, but don't tell Suz, ssshhh.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6970
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 3:03 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

gee and I ended up in the hole!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 3:53 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Elvis wrote:
gee and I ended up in the hole!!!


Haha Haha Haha Haha

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13066
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 3:59 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Elvis wrote:
gee and I ended up in the hole!!!

That's like me at home mate...I'm always in the sh1t...all that ever seems to vary is the depth and consistency. Sad

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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bracer
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 24, 2009
Posts: 46
Location: Prairie Dog Country

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 4:55 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

At 75 years old its all to true.

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tuck2
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bracer
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Member


Joined: Dec 24, 2009
Posts: 46
Location: Prairie Dog Country

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 4:55 am    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

At 75 years old its all to true.

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tuck2
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7084
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:39 pm    Post subject: Re: Questions and Answers Reply with quote

Thanks for the chuckles, Vince!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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