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Women
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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RePete
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Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 1035
Location: Gods Country

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:08 am    Post subject: Women Reply with quote

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him
after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to
live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to
his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most
handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident,
sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as RESPECT FOR OTHERS.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11391
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:07 am    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

He speaks the truth. The only other possession that treats a man like that is his dog.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:49 am    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
He speaks the truth. The only other possession that treats a man like that is his dog.

Bushy, I'm not even going to touch that..do you have any body armor you can wear. Very Happy

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:56 am    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

WOW!! had me scared for a minute...yep whiskey is the cause of all that thinkin


Bushy....other possession? HhhmmmMmm


Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:43 am    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

substitute the gal and whiskey for my 1911 and yepper....nail on the head. i feel very sexy, seductive and invincible while wearing it....esp after a shower. Razz
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11391
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

Ooohh Susanne...Believe me. I am very much a lover of women. Just have to give these guys some ammunition or they would just dry up and blow away...

.45 Colt...Hummmm...Yes. Does have it's possibilities... Laughing

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

as long as i use a firm grip and rack the silde she never complains.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11391
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

Hummmm...Yes....................................

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

she has a hi-ride beavertail too.....yep, she's a kepper.

but i digress.
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

1911 with my thumbs cross grip, ripped off a little bit of chunk of my skin.
Now proper grip/best grip is with both thumbs forward.

Stovey, need a shooting glove? Very Happy Very Happy

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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stovepipe
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Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:43 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

no glove no love lol
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

stovepipe wrote:
no glove no love lol
ROFL ROFL Haha Haha Haha Haha This is sure to get Bushy going... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11391
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

I'm sorry, but I don't use gloves either and never have. Five kids later...Fixed problem.

Ooh...Ya mean shooting gloves. Sorry...Don't use them either.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 10:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

Boys.....(hands on hips)....y'all are gonna scare away the sheep...Oh..I haven't seen those guys on this thread ....wonder why..


Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: Women Reply with quote

I'm here Suz...and you look very, well yeah mmmm, with your hands on your hips like that. Laughing

Being a Whisky drinker, I'm totally with Bushy on this one...although afer 35 1/2 years of marriage I reckon I can include SWMBO in there as well.

Now gloves...don't wear gloves for shooting unless its real cold, then I wear my nomex pilots gloves. Thin enough to feel and warm enough to keep the real cold at bay. Why else would one want to wear gloves? Confused Laughing

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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