HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: RichardZ
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 13126

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 272
BOT: 1
Total: 273
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Photo Albums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Your Account
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Home
18: Forums
19: Photo Albums
20: Photo Albums
21: Your Account
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Home
28: Home
29: Forums
30: Home
31: Home
32: Your Account
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Your Account
37: Forums
38: News
39: Photo Albums
40: Home
41: Forums
42: Home
43: Home
44: Home
45: Photo Albums
46: Home
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Home
50: Home
51: Photo Albums
52: Photo Albums
53: Your Account
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Home
57: Statistics
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Your Account
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Home
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Your Account
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Your Account
87: Forums
88: Home
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Photo Albums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Home
97: Home
98: Photo Albums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Your Account
103: Photo Albums
104: Forums
105: Home
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Photo Albums
110: Photo Albums
111: Your Account
112: Forums
113: Photo Albums
114: Home
115: Forums
116: News
117: Forums
118: Your Account
119: Your Account
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Home
126: Home
127: Home
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Forums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Home
140: Forums
141: Your Account
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Your Account
146: Forums
147: Home
148: Your Account
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Your Account
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Your Account
158: Home
159: Your Account
160: Photo Albums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Photo Albums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Your Account
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Home
172: Home
173: Home
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Home
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Your Account
182: Forums
183: Forums
184: Photo Albums
185: Photo Albums
186: Forums
187: Home
188: Your Account
189: Your Account
190: Photo Albums
191: Your Account
192: Photo Albums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Home
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Home
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Forums
203: Photo Albums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Forums
209: Home
210: Your Account
211: Your Account
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Home
215: Your Account
216: Forums
217: Home
218: Forums
219: Forums
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Your Account
227: Forums
228: Forums
229: Statistics
230: Your Account
231: Home
232: Photo Albums
233: Forums
234: Photo Albums
235: Photo Albums
236: Forums
237: Photo Albums
238: Forums
239: Forums
240: Forums
241: Forums
242: Home
243: Forums
244: Forums
245: Your Account
246: Forums
247: Forums
248: Forums
249: Photo Albums
250: Forums
251: Forums
252: Forums
253: Photo Albums
254: Forums
255: Forums
256: Forums
257: Forums
258: Forums
259: Photo Albums
260: Photo Albums
261: Your Account
262: Your Account
263: Photo Albums
264: Forums
265: Your Account
266: Your Account
267: Forums
268: Forums
269: Your Account
270: Forums
271: Forums
272: Forums
  BOT:
01: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2451
  · Views: 820723
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Airport conversations
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:53 pm    Post subject: Airport conversations Reply with quote

You're going to love this, after you shake your head. Heaven Help us.



Airport conversations:

A DC airport ticket agent.... Believe it or not.... It’s priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication of just how much trouble our country is in.

God Bless America !

A DC airport ticket agent
offers some examples of 'why' our country is
in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ....!'' Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,'' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts? Capetown is in South Africa! '' his response – click!!

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about
a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the Reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, California is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it
be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them!''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Florida on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu from Louisiana . Senator Landrieu called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I've double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

How can could anyone be this DUMB??

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..!

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.

It’s like manure, you just gotta spread it around.


Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:44 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

After watching a Congressman express his concern that Guam might tip over and capsize if the Military stationed more servicemen on the island, these are believable.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:02 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

Vince, make mine a Heineken please....cold.

I posted the same thing a week earlier......

You are having an absolute howler having to shouting us all.

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:21 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

Bugger...I'm not having a good month...hope this doesn't extend over the whole year mate. Embarassed Embarassed

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:59 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

radar wrote:
Vince, make mine a Heineken please....cold.

I posted the same thing a week earlier......

You are having an absolute howler having to shouting us all.

ROFL ROFL ROFL Haha Haha Haha


Thats ok Vince, keep em coming.

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Aloysius
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2437
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:56 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

Radar, don't you like beer because you ask for Heineken?
Don't you know that picture of a flemish working horse drinking Palm and urinating in a bucket which is labeled 'Heineken'?
Back to top
View user's profile
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

I put Heiniken down because you guys wouldn't know a Steinlager Pure if you were bottled with it.!

My choice of beer is wide but I do confess to being partial to Heiniken and Steinlager Pure followed closely by Speights and Export Gold (Elvis knows what these are).

Anyway Vince, I guess in the great state of Queensland its all Four X isn't it.

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

XXX otherwise, known as barbed wire, is made here...not a real lover of it though...much prefer Hahn Premium, which is made here too. Laughing Cheers

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 3:40 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

Vince,
You and me is going to have to wet the whistle one day.

Acutally probably in the not too distant future.

I'm going to visit my Bro in Gold Coast as he and his wonderful wife have given me my firts neice. Got lotsa Nephews but she be the first neice.

I will give you the word once I get it from the boss.

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 3:54 am    Post subject: Re: Airport conversations Reply with quote

Not a problem mate...I look forward to buying you a beer.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.