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Thought for the day - A Real Man
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13174
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:59 pm    Post subject: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

A Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend.

He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure

and comfort her after a bad day.


He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;

to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions

and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most
beautiful woman in the room

and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that.......

Never mind.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7047
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:41 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

yip give them a bottle or two and even old mugs like ours look good too.

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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3410
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

I almost thought there was an iron man with a velvet hand in the crowd...

If you want to be treated like a king - treat her as a queen.

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Paul
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:50 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

is that the kind of man with heavy mascara and high heals PaulS, or did you mean another type of queen.

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whittling
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Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 2:46 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Like I always say - I'll be a gentleman when I see a real Lady.

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Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3268
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:57 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Woa Vinnnie that was scary!! All that 'taking care of' crap was making me nauseous. A real man keeps his hands to himself, looks the other way when appropriate, is only there for entertainment value, washes regularly, always wipes his chin, at least looks responsible, keeps you in gas money (I wouldn't expect that), never betrays you in conversation, keeps his other friends to himself, shares his dessert, keeps his clothes off the couch-bed-toilet-dinner table-floor-oh I could go on and on,

doesn't read your mail or your cell phone numbers, doesn't 'bother' you when you're; sick-asleep-reading-watching TV-eating-brushing your teeth-cooking-doin the laundry-driving the car-at a friends' house-in public-at the parents' house-on the computer-throwing up-in a hurry-at the bank-at the doctor-in the library-waiting in line at the grocery (unless you are able to come to decent conclusion without upsetting the whole neighborhood).

Yeah that's the sort of guy you can only dream of. Opening doors and being polite is for girly-girls, what fun is it to be on your best behavior all the time anyway? It's like those people you see training their dog to heal, always jerking the collar and makin the dog choke, doesn't look like the dogs' havin any fun.

That's why that scared me, but in the end you were talkin bout wine. Yep that's what wine does to ya, makes you think of doin all the right things and acting like and lookin like a fool.

Beer on the other hand is way more adjustable to the situation and can be even taken to the hospital for a friend in need. I did that once. Took a sixpack to a friend of mine that broke his ankle. Felt weird to do it, but like wearing a Stetson at the dinner table, nobody said I couldn't. I didn't stick around for the after effects of the beer, I have to say watching someone use a metal pot to piss in while in bed, is not my idea of friendship. Friendship is imagining your poor drunk, ankle broken, bed-ridden friend asking the nurse and doin the deed. Maybe he got a handy from the nurse, I dunno.


Suz

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10329
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 7:23 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Being the [old school] chauvinist [and proud of it] that I am. My list would be a whole lot different then either of yours. Laughing

I once held a door open for a lady(?) who was short a hand due to the other one in use. Not only did I not get a thank you, but I got a dirty look and the comment that she didn't need my help and could open doors herself. I let the door close [with a little assist from me] and hit her in the butt. Made MY day... Very Happy

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3410
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

I open doors for my wife - she doesn't need the help but I insist.
I "bother" her when she does dishes
I complement her all the time
Some times I tell her she does too much.
I lead when we dance - because I don't follow worth a dime
I make "rude" comments when we are alone (nice a$$ etc.)
we spend a lot of time just playing on each others sensibilities
I give her cards and gifts on the days that don't have titles just to remind her that she is the dream that I am living.

It works for us.

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Paul
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13174
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Well Suz, Bushy and Paul...I agree with all of ya...and I try to be the sort of man a woman can appreciate...without becoming that girly-girl. I'm very much like both Bushy and Paul...a chauvinist...but I treat a woman as my equal (cause she is) but get a lot of pleasure out of being a real man in a world of SNAGs and METRO-SEXUALs. Oh yeah, and I used to buy my missus wine all the time, but not anymore since she was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2.

Whittlin' wrote:
Like I always say - I'll be a gentleman when I see a real Lady.

Mate...EVERY woman, regardless deserves to be treated like a lady until she shows or says otherwise. Easiest way to look at it is: treat a woman the way you would like someone, including yourself, to treat your Mum. After that, take your lead from her actions...just like Bushy did. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7047
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:26 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

ooo shucks guys and here I was thinking I was different cause after 12years of marrage I still open doors etc etc now I see that there are still some gents left.

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whittling
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Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 2:35 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Believe me I treat women fine ,I just don't do the entire open doors thing and offer your seat ALL the time. However ,older women automatically get respect.

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Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7153
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

whittling wrote:
Believe me I treat women fine

It is how special the woman feels that counts. Opening doors or letting a women enter first is an easy behavior to demonstrate regardless of age.

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10329
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:51 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

You guys are aware that the reason we open the door and let the woman in first is so if there is danger she is expendable. (old medieval wives tale)

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3410
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

More power to 'em if they can get through my wife! Chances are that she would be making a call for the wagon to take them away. She is amazing... just when you think she is absorbed in her own little world she will point out something that I missed completely.
I like to think that I notice details and changes pretty quickly but she amazes me.

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Paul
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whittling
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Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:32 am    Post subject: Re: Thought for the day - A Real Man Reply with quote

Whats really funny is hearing about my brother Josh. Feller sounds different when he's with his fiance.

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