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Her first time..
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5633
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 2:13 am    Post subject: Her first time.. Reply with quote

A Girl's First Time!!!!!!
==================================================================
It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse,
but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's your first time.
His finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses;
but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply in your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easier entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.
He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you.
You lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle;
that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.










You smile and thank your dentist.... After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

======================================================================
Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking'? NoNo

PERVERT I know what you were thinking!..... Evil Devil

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

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gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12769
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:16 am    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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1895ss
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
A Girl's First Time!!!!!
Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking'? NoNo

PERVERT I know what you were thinking!..... Evil Devil
Jaw Drop

Ahhh, no not me ...................... Roses Angel ROFL

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'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10179
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

Hummm...1895zz...Not a PERVERT...I'll have to give a bit ot thought... Very Happy

HAPPY ST. PATRICK's DAY all you wannabe Irishmen...Myself? I be a Scotchman...But I have a few drafts with ye... Laughing

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

Oh yes Happy St. Patrick's Day" to all the Irish.

Bushy .... you're Scotch ?? ............ figures Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy .. me nah I'm German. Cool

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Weinbender
Member
Member


Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:27 am    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

haha i saw that gelan posted this and i knew rightaway!! something is wrong with this!!! didnt expect that ending tho!! Very Happy

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"If it dont kick like a mule, it aint worth shooting"
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hunterjoe21
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 1230
Location: North Central Montana

PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummm...1895zz...Not a PERVERT...I'll have to give a bit ot thought... Very Happy

HAPPY ST. PATRICK's DAY all you wannabe Irishmen...Myself? I be a Scotchman...But I have a few drafts with ye... Laughing

Shouldn't that read Scotch Man?

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My 1911 is more effective than your 911.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12769
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: Her first time.. Reply with quote

A Bonny Wee Scots Man maybe.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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