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Somali Cruise Package
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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robfromaz1977
Member
Member


Joined: Aug 03, 2005
Posts: 179
Location: Arizona's White Mountains

PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:31 am    Post subject: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

This is the best idea yet. Be sure and read the whole thing. I was
checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and
docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find
that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise
is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the
cruise. If you don't have your own weapons you can rent them right there on
the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have
reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional marksmanship training.
The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per
person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the
coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the
costs and claims associated with the package.

* $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

* M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor
piercing ammo at 15.95


* AK-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball
ammo at 14.95


* Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25
rounds 50 cal armor piercing at 9.95



* Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting
scope included).

* Wow - they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3
standard loads


* "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and
coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

* Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.

* Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs
offer......... get this.....

* "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained
fire"



* (Sign me up for that!)

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim "FUN
FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

They even have a partial money back offer if not satisfied....here's some
text from the ad.

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by
pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges
and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included). How can we guarantee
you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of
the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn
the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8
days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night
the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud
disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited
so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get
100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."






As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
testimonials

* "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big
game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----
Lars, Hamburg, Germany

* "Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES
0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks
English" - Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

* "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't
worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship
with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim-reminds me of a drunken
'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam"-"chopper'
Dan ----Toledo USA.

* "Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do! - Zeke, Minnahaw Springs,
Kentucky, USA





Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem.
These folks deserve a medal!
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

I'm in. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Cheers. Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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SwampFox
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 1:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

Wouldn't that be just the trip? Sounds like a perfect old military buggers safari to me.
Sign me up on the next boat out. Make sure they have plenty of 300 WM ammo on board. An a few bottles of oxygen to cool my barrel. We be skinny dipping or is that dipping skinnies? Very Happy
Best,
Ed

_________________
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

Ed,

Funny one (reference to the skinny dipping), myself I like the price of the 50BMG ammunition.

Still there is one issue, they mention replacing the bar with the mini-gun but don't mention the availability of Scotch on the trip. Sad

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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PaulS
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3404
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

Alcohol and live ammo? Not happening.

_________________
Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 3:44 am    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

PaulS,

Its like when your at hunt camp, you go hunting all day, then in the evening with dinner you crack open a couple drinks. AFTER the guns have been put away for the night.

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5744
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 4:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
PaulS,

Its like when your at hunt camp, you go hunting all day, then in the evening with dinner you crack open a couple drinks. AFTER the guns have been put away for the night.

Dimitri

But NOT in places where the target can shoot back I think..
Could ruin a perfectly good hunt Very Happy

Unless of course for those that need some "dutch" courage?

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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whittling
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 4:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

I take the RPG but you'd think that you could rent a good gun -Like an M-14

_________________
Molon labe!
Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
But NOT in places where the target can shoot back I think..

True enough. Still there is always "off time". Pirates come and people have been drinking what is there to do?

Use the minigun to light then up and get back to drinking before going to bed.

Very Happy

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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PaulS
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3404
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 11:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

If you want a "good" gun then bring your own...
And to keep the accuracy up bring your own ammo too!

_________________
Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
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NEVER exceed maximum listed loads
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5744
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 12:31 am    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

theres reloading party every arfo too Very Happy
Great time to test those new recipes and Hohoholow points ... Bwahahahahahaha Evil or Very Mad

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 1:14 am    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
theres reloading party every arfo too Very Happy
Great time to test those new recipes and Hohoholow points ... Bwahahahahahaha Evil or Very Mad

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Gelan....you kill me mate....and you are a man after my own heart. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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tomlj75
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: May 07, 2009
Posts: 8
Location: IOWA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:11 am    Post subject: Re: Somali Cruise Package Reply with quote

sign me up
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