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To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12852
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:58 am    Post subject: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Reply with quote

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. wtf Shocked Embarassed Yuck

Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? Cool

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. Yuck

I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. Laughing Laughing Laughing

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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10spotterminator
Member
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Joined: Aug 27, 2008
Posts: 167
Location: Redmond, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:58 pm    Post subject: Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Reply with quote

Who sez it cant be fun having a war of wits with an unarmed person ????? You can only guess how much I enjoyed this one . I LOVE creative justice.
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1235
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:25 am    Post subject: Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Reply with quote

I love it!!!!! Very Happy

Only thing better would have been to have him strip naked and have your girlfriend start screaming rape.

Kill em all and let God sort them out.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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sniper
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Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:03 pm    Post subject: Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Reply with quote

[quote="lesterg3"]

Only thing better would have been to have him strip naked and have your girlfriend start screaming rape.quote]

Lester, that's just plain mean! Cool ROFL
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lesterg3
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1235
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:17 pm    Post subject: Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Reply with quote

Well, sorry about that, but but I am not known for my kind demeanor, especially towards bad guys. Very Happy

I could never be a cop, or a Game Warden or have any position that would place me in a position of power over criminals. At least I wouldn't be one for long. Shooting

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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