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New training courses for 2008.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6078
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:18 pm    Post subject: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

Hiding You didn't got this from me ok!!

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10877
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:09 am    Post subject: Re: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

And I suppose your wife posted it...Right?

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:20 pm    Post subject: Re: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

These are required courses for girls wishing to date me. Laughing

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:32 pm    Post subject: Re: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

I agree with all of these, guess I've already taken all of the courses. But #25. I OWN the TV Remote, mainly because I'm the only one who knows how to work it.

I think that I've also taught a few of them. (But since I'm a women does it still count?)

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Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:40 pm    Post subject: Re: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

I'm gonna get into trouble for saying this Hiding BUT Hiding

It counts, cause alot of women do not listen to men (which by the way is supposed to be Course 1 but because of how difficult it is it is not taught, its ether she listens or she doesn't Hiding ) and cause many do not listen the only way for them to learn is for women who already went through the training to become instructors and teach other women the course materials. Hiding


Had to say it. ROFL


Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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rdncktink
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:42 pm    Post subject: Re: New training courses for 2008. Reply with quote

Women have decided that men needed some courses too. The women courses have been changed to help men.

gelandangan wrote:
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
and why she can't

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits must be done before men can spend

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits but at least a clean one

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game or the latest makeover show

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too: You're a man - make one

6-9 stay put women really need to learn these things

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire includes the new section on not tailgaiting

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up with a conversation under an HOUR

12. Introduction to Parking not making out

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space and leaving space for her to get out of the car

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat how to slip her a water pill and not complain about the bathroom breaks

15-20 stays where they are, again women need to learn these things to get along with other women

21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have and tossing the ones with holes

22-24 stay were they are because we all need to learn them

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only and learning how to use it and changing the batteries

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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