The latest Intelligence Summary has just come in and I thought you might be interested:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
*
*
*
*
*
*
The Australians have decided to do bugger all until the ice has melted and the beer has gone hot. The Australian minister of Defence refuses to comment until the country actually gives a damn.


Cheers, Vince

Canada is gettting on board by raising our military alert lvel from "Dawdle Uselessly" to "Prepare List of Plausible Excuses for Inaction"

And The Scrape & Scrabble Ranch is loading more ammunition and training "ELUDE and ESCAPE" horses...

Thats a hoot Vince keep um coming buddy :-D.
Joe

Vince, ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!IT IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YA!!!!

tracker wrote:

Canada is gettting on board by raising our military alert lvel from "Dawdle Uselessly" to "Prepare List of Plausible Excuses for Inaction"

Tracker,

Your thinking about what has become of the forces in the many years of Liberal neglect, but our military is still top notch, and is proving itself in Afghanistan very well in my opinion.

Dimitri

Dimitri wrote:

Tracker, Your thinking about what has become of the forces in the many years of Liberal neglect, but our military is still top notch, and is proving itself in Afghanistan very well in my opinion. :)Dimitri

Young sir,

I do believe our military deport themselves as well as any on the planet, particularly given the woeful lack of resources they have to suffer using. My jibe was most definitely directed at the politicos and I'd lump the whole works of them into that pile....(yes, pile of....)not just the Liberals, although they may be the most guilty.

Well said Tracker!!! WE have the same situation in the U.S. and A!!!!!!
Between the politicians and the press you can not get a straight answer on anything!!

Unfortunately Vint, the government here is too often perfectly clear "we want the military to do everything, we just don't want to have to pay for it."...see? clear, stupid, but clear...that's our feds.

Yes, I see! It boils down to gov is a pain for a lot of reasons!!!!!