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The stuff of which legends are made!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13132
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 6:17 am    Post subject: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

An Air Force Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into action. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway!

The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.

As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune a Infantry Soldier shopping at KMART saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:50 am    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Haha

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10299
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:37 am    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

I DON'T THINK THAT'S FUNNY!!!...I still have a head ache...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:41 am    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

When did you become a Air Force Capitan Bushmaster ?? Shocked

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10299
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:56 am    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

I used to fly a lot...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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d_hoffman
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Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 1:13 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Hey Bushy, you lied to us. You said before that you was in the Navy.

Take 2 tylenols and call me in the morning.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10299
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 1:42 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Just because I spent 22 1/2 years in th U.S. Navy doesn't mean I didn't fly a lot to and from new duty stations and ships.. Besides my civilian job had me flying all over the globe...

I see no use for tylenol...I'm a rize syndrome kid. Bayer...The real asprin...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:19 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Never mind them fellas Bushy, you just grab a handful of quarters and get back on that horse!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:29 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Bushy
Thanks for the 22 yrs of service
how is the colt??

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10299
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:48 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Zeus is doing great. He got his first halter this morning, much to his shagrin...If I could get Vince to post his photo as I can't at the moment because of the dial-up system I have...All would be able to see the son of a World Grand Champion...

It's that damned horse at Wal-mart I can't seem to master...Hey Tracker. Got change for a dollar??

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:01 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

American equipment probably won't take Canadian coins, partner, I know Montana cashiers won't Mad

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:01 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Oh and hey...Zeus?....cool name....

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:47 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

tracker wrote:
American equipment probably won't take Canadian coins, partner, I know Montana cashiers won't Mad

Thats funny Tracker, considering here no one cares where the coin is from, even 50 cent Americans get thrown into the "25 cent" bin in the cash. Laughing

As for the machines they should be accepted, friends I know who have been to the US say the machines accept Canadian 25 cent coins as American ones. Probably because its the same machines, just sold in both countries as "one and the same" ?? Confused

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5736
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:52 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
I used to fly a lot...

Heh .. where I came from, I used to fry a lot too.. Very Happy
we also used heated up oil and ended spewing lots of CO2 on the process too Very Happy


Daymned shame, our K-mart in Oz don't have them horses.
I could use some training. Never feel comfortable on a horse before...

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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fireball 3
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 4:45 pm    Post subject: Re: The stuff of which legends are made! Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Haha Ok, enough said, vince-you made my day. thanks again for the chuckles. Dave Salute

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if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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