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dumbest injuries or ouchies
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13136
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:00 am    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Gee......I think I must have lead either a very sheltered life or lucky one compared to some of you guys.

However, having said that I reckon I am about the clumsiest guy God ever shovelled guts into. I am forever cutting myself or stickin' something into my hands or crunching my knuckles between a spanner and something damn hard. I have only ever broken two bones....my nose on an obstacle course in the Army and my wrist riding my motorcycle. I hadn't started my 1968 model Bultaco Sherpa S in about 3 or 4 years so I figured that it could do with a little bit of lubricating. To cut a long story short....the throttle jammed open and I had the choice of hitting my mates car or throwing the bike away. My mate was bigger than me so the car won....I threw the bike away, broke my wrist and ended up having two ops to fix it.

I'm developing osteo arthritis in my back, neck and knees as a result of wear and tear from my time in the Army and like many of you I am a walking barometer. Can always tell when inclement weather is coming.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:53 am    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

We had BB gun fights too!!! Wow did that bring back memories. I had so many welts that Mom thought I had chicken pox one time. :):)
We got in so much trouble............ Crying or Very sad

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10301
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:06 am    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Forgot all about that...Still have a calcium bump on one finger bone from a BB from my youth...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:07 am    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Let your kids do that now and you would be in jail for neglect or abuse or both wtf ..... but its ok they shoot the heck out of each other with paint ball guns, go fight and kill for OIL. Confused

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10301
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:10 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

You own any gasoline powered vehicles, Crackshot??? That might have been one of the reasons besides getting rid of a tyrant, better to fight them over there then here and a couple other reasons that I can't think of right off hand, but give me time. I'll come up with-em...It's too bad we haven't progressed enough to eliminate war. I wonder if we will ever see Star Trek's "utopia"...'Course we'll be fighting them out there too... Very Happy

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

A good a reason as any I guess...... "kill them all, let god sort em out"

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:35 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
I wonder if we will ever see Star Trek's "utopia"...'Course we'll be fighting them out there too... Very Happy

Star Trek's Utopia is a myth they kill each other in space to fight wars instead of on Earth. wtf

Plus you know in Star Trek they are communists ?? Confused

Dimitri

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fireball 3
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:18 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Crying or Very sad one time when i was younger and stupid, i rode my motorcycle into a barbwire fence. took out 75 ft of fence and got 18 12" gashes on my outer thighs, still have the nasty scars to prove it. i was so mad i left the bike with the pink on the seat. ain't been on a bike since. Razz dave

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if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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wncchester
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Joined: Apr 08, 2006
Posts: 160

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:35 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Beware the Utility/Box knives! 'Bout six years ago I let one slip while cutting towards myself and almost qualified for one of them Darwin awards. That blade was buried in my left inner arm just above the watch band, to full depth and width. I didn't even feel it at first, only knew something was wrong when I felt something running down my left hand!

Put a thumb on it and my wife took me to the hospital, about 20 min. away. I was blood soaked and painted all down my jeans and shoes. Didn't have to wait even a minute in the Emergency Room, they sort of drug me in.

I had split the major artery and doc guessed I'd lost maybe 3-4 pints of blood by the amount I was wearing and the general condition I was in.
He fixed it but I refused his kind offer of a couple of pints of replacement blood. Thank the Lord, I didn't cut a single tendon or nerve!

Felt like the fool I was for cutting myself like that, still do.
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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:35 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

fireball 3 wrote:
i was so mad i left the bike with the pink on the seat. ain't been on a bike since. Razz dave

I don't know if it's that selective memory or not but you've been a bike since dear old dad. After your brother, of hatchet fame, had a little run in with stupid luck and cops you rode it back to his house. Of course you only went fast enough to keep it up right. And talk about the look on your face the whole time. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL NoNo Nananana

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Morax
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Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:15 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

rdncktink wrote:
fireball 3 wrote:
i was so mad i left the bike with the pink on the seat. ain't been on a bike since. Razz dave

I don't know if it's that selective memory or not but you've been a bike since dear old dad. After your brother, of hatchet fame, had a little run in with stupid luck and cops you rode it back to his house. Of course you only went fast enough to keep it up right. And talk about the look on your face the whole time. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL NoNo Nananana

dont ya just love kids with memories?? heheheh had a cousin who smacked a tree stump on a dirt bike, bike stopped he slid up the tank and, well to put it nicely loraina bobbited himself on the gas cap, doc had to sew the tip back on wtf Shocked
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fireball 3
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:12 pm    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

Sad OOOOOUCH!! Sad

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if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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Morax
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Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 3:31 am    Post subject: Re: dumbest injuries or ouchies Reply with quote

how about the ding dong sister, already in a leg cast for a mild birth defect (oh do i got a few comments here) she decided to pull a full fresh coffee pot down onto herself.. yep all into the leg cast.. no perminant scars there though..
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