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Divorce
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13708
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:21 am    Post subject: Divorce Reply with quote

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1855
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:52 am    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

Laughing Scratch Haha

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Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10608
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 8:53 am    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

MUST be blonde

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7617
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 1:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

yip that would drive a fella to drink!!!!

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3581
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 4:43 pm    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

A man could communicate with his horse better than that!

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Paul
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5894
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 2:30 am    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

Shocked Strewth!!

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Aloysius
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Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2146
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 4:11 am    Post subject: Re: Divorce Reply with quote

I had a friend who once told me: "Mariage is expensive, divorce even costs more, but divorce is worth it..."



but I cannot give any confirmation on that based on experience as in my opinion divorce is something for the rich or for the realy poor, everything between will be hurt bad in the wallet.
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