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Bowel Movements
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Azar
Member
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Joined: Jan 04, 2010
Posts: 273
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 10:12 am    Post subject: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.

One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."

An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

"I don't wake up until nine."
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1327
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:47 am    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Very very funny, till you are 65+years old. Then not so much funny as pertinent.

Still got a chuckle, so thanks.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2354
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 12:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

You arent making the "golden" years seem very appealing.
Thanks........

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3539
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Hey! gettin' old ain't for pansies!

You gotta be tough!

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Paul
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Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13607
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:40 pm    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Oooo...that is a scary thought and a mist unattractive mental picture. But it's a good laugh. Thanks Azar. Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7514
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 10:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

shhhhh I get older tomorrow
plurry good laugh all the same.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10549
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:34 am    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Like Paul said only a bit different. "Old age is for the brave"...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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lesterg3
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1327
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:40 am    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

When all you youngsters think of old men, particularly the old farts that frequent HNut. Think of Walt Kowalski. Shocked

If we are indeed having bowel issues and we are not getting as much as we want in the sack, do you think that is someone who might not have the patience to listen to a lot of your BS. Evil or Very Mad

There is a lot to be said for experience and deviousness, and if you think for a moment you know all the tricks, so did we when we were your age, but we kept learning. There are tricks you haven’t even thought of yet. wtf

Just funnin’ ya. Have a great day. But, unless you want to become a steaming mass of human tissue on the floor don’t get between me and the bathroom.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2354
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:15 pm    Post subject: Re: Bowel Movements Reply with quote

Good to see you're keeping your sprinting up Wink

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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