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ObamaFlowers
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Suzanne
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:11 pm    Post subject: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

(Customer) But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.

(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

(Customer) Well, how much are they?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

(Customer) What’s the difference?

(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.

(Customer) FlowerAid?

(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a Right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.

(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.

(Customer) I don’t believe this…

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.

(Customer) WHAT? Your can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income…..

(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50..

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day…and God Bless America.

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1052
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 12:16 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Mad Don't want no F'in flowers!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7511
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:14 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

I will go pick some from the garden
thanks for the heads up Suz
thats not the type of knockers I want at my front door!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5862
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:11 pm    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Damn this would give me nightmares.. Sad
What with SMWBO hinting about flowers for her Xmas present..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13603
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 5:38 am    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

SCHICK SCHICK Go away...I do not want to buy and flowers...now or ever again.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:23 am    Post subject: Re: ObamaFlowers Reply with quote

Our lovely health care law has turned into a joke, a very sick joke indeed. Nothing about it is funny. Obama even took his proud name off of it. He himself will no longer call it Obama Care, now he prefers to call it the Affordable Care Act. HHhmmmm wonder why? House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi went so far as to correct David Gregory on “Meet the Press” Sunday on the proper terminology. And White House talking points distributed to Democrats and obtained by POLITICO repeatedly refer to the Affordable Care Act in suggested sound bites, not Obamacare.

“Obamacare” started out as a pejorative term during Obama’s first campaign, and Republicans, embraced it during protests and rallies against the health care bill. The media generally steered clear as well — using phrases such as “health care reform” to describe the issue.

But Obama last year reappropriated the term for himself, making the phrase a staple of his stump speech and hawking “I (heart) Obamacare” bumper stickers.
“We passed Obamacare — yes, I like the term — we passed it because I do care, and I want to put these choices in your hands where they belong,” Obama said at a typical stop in Iowa last October.

They're still very interested in fooling the public into thinking the insurance cancellations are all the fault of greedy, heartless insurance executives. They like to be the victims and they don't like big corporations. People losing their insurance for more expensive Obamacare, that's the real joke. The people were fools, utter fools, to pay for these garbage policies, which did not even include necessities such as maternity coverage for men, or drug counseling benefits for tee-totalers. His Majesty was doing his ignorant subjects a favor by killing those plans before the pitiful wretches could pay another monthly premium. What a great guy...saving the victims from their suffering.

Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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