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GPS
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13609
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:18 am    Post subject: GPS Reply with quote

GPS

I have a little Sat Nav
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Sat Nav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's 60 clicks an hour", it says
"You're doing sixty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counseling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I wish that once in a while
I could turn the bloody thing off.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5864
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:25 am    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

Hiding

Brave.. very brave Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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PaulS
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3542
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:40 am    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

That is "suicide by wife" in my home.....
No, she was laughing about it and nodding her head all the way through it.

_________________
Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:41 am    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

Your one brave soul Vince.

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13609
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:48 am    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

Gotta live dangerously sometimes...but one needs to be careful too.

Hiding

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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10spotterminator
Member
Member


Joined: Aug 27, 2008
Posts: 167
Location: Redmond, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:36 pm    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

Tread lightly Vince ,,, you might get skillet ambushed in the kitchen ...

Not sure that was a GPS ,,,

Pretty sure it was a built in Nagivation system Very Happy

( Dont tell her where I live )

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It's not whether you win or lose... It's how you place the blame .
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7518
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:16 am    Post subject: Re: GPS Reply with quote

I got shown the finger!!!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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