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Montgomery school boardJokes, funny stories and general humor
Joined: May 25, 2005
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
|Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:37 pm Post subject: Montgomery school board
HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"
TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."
BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
SEED -- verb, past tense.
GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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