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how the internet started
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7346
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:10 pm    Post subject: how the internet started Reply with quote

too good not to pass on




How the Internet Started

HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE .
PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS ONE OR CHECK WITH SNOPES.
THEY WILL LIE TO YOU. TRUST ME!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.


It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth. I would not make up this stuff.

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5830
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:13 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

BLOODY LOL.. Thanks !! Needed that this morning Very Happy Very Happy

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2333
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 5:22 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Clever.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:21 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

That was interesting....no Al Gore involved at all? HHHhmmm I've been spoofed



Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13468
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:36 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

I believe every word of that Elvis...I mean, who else but someone from Israel (of Jewish extraction of course) would think up something like that.

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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RePete
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Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 798

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:28 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Worship

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Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1322
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:22 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10480
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:27 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

BAH!! HUMBUG!!!

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2333
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 3:44 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Did Bushy just humbug on the internet?

Oh yeah thats right Christmas is comming.....

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Pete

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10480
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 4:25 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Yup...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1322
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 5:22 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

I phriggen love it.

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.

NRA Life Member
Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7346
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 7:30 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Bushy Bushy Bushy....THATS AWESOME

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2333
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:37 pm    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Bushy, thats the first time in a long time I've done the coffee out the hose thing, awsome post.....

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Pete

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13468
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:31 am    Post subject: Re: how the internet started Reply with quote

Bushy, what can I say mate other than Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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